Thoughts on Dreary Weather, Mondays and Fridays

This weather is quite dreary,    

It’s dark, and dank, and damp,

It’s making me feel weary,

And nothing like a champ,

Sun, oh sun, where are you?

You hide yourself away,

Please come back, light up the sky,

And brighten up our days!

               We’ve had a string of cloudy, rainy, dark and chilly days this month, and it’s been extra tough to get going in the morning.  We drag ourselves out of bed, and move zombie like through the day swilling our favorite caffeinated beverage in an effort to feel alive.  My brain feels foggy during those strings of dank days and no amount of caffeine really clears it.  I try turning on all the lights in my house to trick my brain into thinking the sun is out, but it doesn’t really help.  I still just want to curl up on the couch under a blanket and snooze.  When we finally have a sunny morning it is amazing how much energy I have!  Even if it’s very cold outside, as long as the sun is shining I can get motivated to get things done.  I guess I’m solar powered.

Tomorrow is Monday for real,

I’m not really sure how to feel,

Back to routine is nice,

I’m not seeking advice,

Friday seems a much better deal.

Friday, O Friday!

At last you have dawned,

You signal an end

To a week Sunday spawned,

It felt never ending,

Each day looney and long,

But at last you are here,

Let us hail you with song!

               I think we can pretty much agree that Mondays are hard.  I know I live for the weekends lately because weekdays start early, and I must function before I’m ready to be fully awake.  On weekends I can laze on the couch with coffee and a bagel for a while before getting on with the obligations of my day.  Weekend coffee just tastes better somehow, and having some time to linger over it and daydream or read for a bit feels like Heaven.  I do find that I long for the routine of the workweek when I have too many days off in a row, but it’s those early, busy mornings that get me.  Fridays it’s easier to get going because I know that in a few hours I’ll be done with work for a couple days and can turn my attention to more pleasant pursuits. I look forward to Fridays a lot.  Too bad it’s only Wednesday.

Words Matter

We must be careful with our words, and we also must listen carefully when others speak or write information down.  How many times do we misunderstand something we hear or read, our imagination running away with the ideas we think are being expressed?  Miscommunication can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety as we anticipate problems and invent scenarios that may come from our interpretation of what has been said.

If ever there were words that terrified me, aggressive calf stretching would be at the top of the list, even higher than your bank account is overdrawn, or your car needs thousands of dollars’ worth of repairs. Recently I visited an orthopedist for foot and ankle pain, and he sent me for physical therapy.  On the orders for the therapy he wrote “aggressive calf stretching”.  It sounds like an event in the farmers’ Olympics, if there were such a thing, and in general sounds painful.  It turned out that it wasn’t as painful as it sounded, and when I commented on how terrifying I thought it would be the physical therapist laughed and said she wished the doctor would stop writing that, because she knows what he wants and it worries some of the patients when they read those words. The physical therapy worked, and I am able to once again move freely and relatively pain free.  I also recently had a spot of skin cancer removed from the top of my scalp.  Now those are some frightening words: skin cancer. The day I went for the procedure, I sat on the exam table in the doctor’s office, while the nurse got things ready and explained what would happen and the aftercare.  She told me that the doctor would inject my scalp with several needles of Novocain; the prospect of needles being stuck into my scalp made me anxious, as I have had dental work done and hate the injections into the gums to numb the area they will work on. I imagined how painful the coming injections would be, and wished I could just leave. She told me, as well, that because it was on the top of my head, they were going to have to mummify me when the procedure was finished. Well, as if the prospect of having needles in my head wasn’t scary enough, the word “mummify” was more concerning! I had visions of my head being wrapped up in gauze bandages, unable to move my jaws to eat, drink, or talk. I asked her to please explain the mummification, and it turns out that to keep a bandage in place in that area they wrap strips of gauze under the chin and over the top of the head, and it should be kept on for 24 hours.  I was only slightly less fearful after that! As it turned out, the numbing process wasn’t so bad, and the gauze was only wrapped around my head until they looked at the tissue under a slide and determined that they had successfully removed all the cancerous tissue, then the doctor placed the stitches and I was free to leave without looking like a mummy. 

It’s easy to understand how words can make us anxious or fearful of what’s to come. We tend to imagine the worst scenarios when it comes to the unknown.  It is, perhaps, a self- preservation technique we humans have so that we can protect ourselves from harm, and are relieved when things turn out better or easier than anticipated.  We prepare for the worst, and hope for the best, and then when all is said and done we can breathe a little easier and laugh at ourselves for being so worried.

Another New Year

One year ends
And one begins
They blend one
Into the other
I wish for all
Family and friends
More time
To be together
To love and laugh
And dance and cry
Sharing times
Both good and bad
To hug and talk
Support, protect
May this year
Be full of
Love.

Here we are starting a new year. Maybe  a new decade, but apparently there is some question as to whether the new decade starts with the year ending in “zero,”, or the year ending in “one”. I learned this on the third hour of a national news show this morning. I guess everything is up for debate these days and I have a feeling that we will continue to debate everything in the new year. I find it annoying and amusing by turns, depending on the subject, and to some extent my mood. We had the blue dress/white dress debate, and the “yannie/laurel” debate, and of course all the political crap with which we are constantly battered if we do anything besides sit alone at home in silence. Seems like that’s just the way we humans are programmed.

One thing I think we all can agree on is that we need other people. Whether it is those we are related to by blood, or those we have grown to love as family, we are better off having people close to us to share our lives with. When we laugh and cry together, celebrate and mourn together, life has a better quality. It gives us a richness to each event, and gives us a different perspective to consider; a sense of being understood, seen, belonging. It’s amazing how much better we feel after a hug in stressful times, or how a shared happy dance when a goal is met makes us feel delirious with pleasure. Togetherness is priceless. Family and friends are priceless.  Even those brief connections with random strangers are without equal.

For the new year, I wish for more connection with others for all of us.

Misfits

Do you ever feel like you’re living on the Island of Misfit Toys from the Rudolph the Red Nosed  Reindeer Christmas movie?  I feel that way sometimes. It’s a feeling of being out of step with the rest of the world. When those around are calm and steady, and I’m in a tizzy, rushing and panicking, my mind whirling with worries and a to do list impossibly long, I’m not feeling like I’m in the right place. But what if on the outside I look calm like everyone else does? What if each of those other calm appearing people feel on the inside as panicked and worried as I do?

I think we all feel a little bit like those misfit toys on the island. We feel like we don’t have anything that is wanted, like our unique talents are unappreciated and somehow unacceptable to the world at large. From the boat that doesn’t float, to the doll that says “How do you do?” instead of “Mama”, to the Charley in a box, all are unique, and wonderful, but they don’t see it. Worse than that, is that they don’t think anyone sees it. Then Rudolph arrives, feeling like such a misfit that he doesn’t even stay on the island, fearing his difference will bring danger to his friends. He vows to tell Santa about the island and find homes for the toys on Christmas Eve. In the end, Rudolph learns to use his uniqueness, and others see it as a gift. He keeps his promise and leads Santa to the island and around the world to drop off all the toys to children who will love them. It’s a happy ending for the Misfits.  So how can I find a happy ending? There is no Rudolph and Santa coming to save me, but what if I start to believe my unique qualities make me fit in? What if I realize that everyone, no matter how accomplished they are perceived to be, feels a little bit like a misfit?  Then I feel like I fit in, and so will you.

Greetings from the Island of Misfits! We welcome you and your beautiful, wonderful uniqueness that makes you who you are. We’re glad you are here. Remember that.

Detours

     For most of the summer and early fall I ran into detours almost everywhere I went.  Between gas lines being put in throughout town and state paving projects, there were days when my 7 minute commute to work turned into a 30 minute exploration of all the back roads in the area.  I tried following the detour arrows, but I managed to get lost in my own town trying to get home.  The arrows just stopped, and drivers were left to guess which way to turn.  I don’t think there was any coordination between construction crews because how can they possibly have meant to have construction going on within the detour area resulting in another detour from the detour?  It was confusing and frustrating, and I didn’t like it.  Thank goodness it seems to be over for now!

     I guess that if we want roads kept in good shape, and we want modern conveniences available in our town, then we have to expect detours.  I took a detour from writing for the past few months, and am slowly getting back to it.  All summer I read books, mysteries, novels, thrillers, and I couldn’t read them fast enough.  I very much enjoyed giving my brain a chance to enter fictional lives and get a break from the everyday. Sometimes we have to detour from our regular lives in order to move forward and keep our minds running smoothly. Although, in all honesty, I’m not sure how smoothly mine’s running since it’s generally filled with an overwhelming amount of thoughts and worries.  Trying not to worry is like trying to keep ocean waves off the beach.  Thoughts just keep coming, receding, and another is right behind it. Giving free rein to the myriad of concerns occupying your brain runs the risk of getting stuck in that vicious cycle which doesn’t solve anything and exhausts you. It’s a detour all its own which takes you away from living a happy and fulfilling life, and being present in your life.  It’s like the detour within a detour I experienced that one day on the way home from work, and you get lost in your own life and don’t recognize where you are. So, every now and then it’s good to disconnect from the everyday and lose yourself in something, whether it’s books, movies, taking a trip, or some other activity you don’t usually participate in. Anything you can do to give yourself a break from stress is a good thing.

     Allowing yourself to lose sight of your troubles and concerns for even a short amount of time regularly is a good thing to do.  Finding time to do this daily can be challenging, but is well worth striving to achieve for good mental health. So go ahead, take a little detour before you find yourself lost in your own life.