Dreams & Tears

My Sunday morning radio
Plays songs both sweet and sad
Sending my thoughts strolling
Through the youth that I once had
The world "back when" was different
And yet it was the same
We laughed and loved and dreamed.
It all circles 'round again.

I love early weekend mornings when I'm the only one up, the lights are low, and the radio is softly playing mellow songs from the decades of my youth.  I think having time to let your mind wander and reflect on your life is an important part of maintaining balance and perspective on where you are right now and where you might be headed.  The things that you experienced in the past have helped make you who you are right now, whether they were mostly good things or mostly not so good things.  How you responded to those life events plays into your sense of optimism or pessimism right now.  If you can look back on challenges and find something beneficial in them, you probably are an optimistic person in general.  Of course, there are some things that happen in people's lives that are so terrible that finding the good in them is like looking for a needle in a haystack, even if you are an optimistic person. 

I've been lucky enough to have had a life that while it challenged me at times, has not been awful.  I've always been the kind of person who can laugh at life most of the time and see the humorous side of a difficult time.  There have been plenty of times that I was brought to tears, of course.  Tears of frustration, disappointment, fear, pain, and anger have all fallen from my eyes and run down my cheeks throughout the years.  Relationships ending, loved ones dying, and dreams going unfulfilled have all brought me to tears.  I wouldn't be human if I never cried, would I? But I've shed tears of relief,  laughter, joy, and wonder as well during my lifetime.  I've dreamed of things I wanted and when those dreams came true, such as getting married, having children, and reaching a goal, the happy tears flowed freely.

The music playing on the radio in the early hours brings me back to times when I was young and full of plans and dreams, some realistic and some outrageous.  That hasn't changed.  I still have dreams and plans that are by turns doable and impossible.  You never know, though, how things will really turn out except that one day you'll be up early, taken back in time by music, and smiling a little to yourself about days gone by. 

Gifts

          We’ve just experienced the time of year we typically think about gifts.  Gifts we have to give, gifts we receive, ones we like, and ones we don’t.  It’s nice to give and receive a gift, but what about the ones we give each other that aren’t tangible?  Such as the feeling we give someone, or someone gives us or wisdom we receive from someone older or more experienced than we are.  Some of those aren’t noticeable until years later, such as the gifts our parents give us over the course of our lives.

          My parents gave me many gifts throughout my life. They gave me the gift of being safe and cared for.  I had a happy childhood filled with laughter and family.  There were 6 of us in the tiny house we lived in, and we learned how to share and get along.  My parents gave us a stable home life, a refuge to return to when school and later work was too stressful.  My parents gave me the love of reading.  The newspaper, magazines, and books were read daily in our house. I have fond memories of my younger brother and I snuggled up with our mother while she read stories to us, and my father reading me fairy tales and doing the voices of the different characters.  Little Red Riding Hood was one of my favorites to read with Dad as he did a great Big Bad Wolf voice.  My love of mysteries comes from reading the mysteries my father enjoyed once I was a little older.  I cannot imagine any greater gifts than the ones my parents gave me.

          The gift of friendship is important for getting through life; as important as family.  In fact, many people have friends with whom they feel a closer bond than with blood relatives.  We choose our friends, and this is maybe why we can form such strong bonds.  We form friendships usually starting with a shared experience whether it is a shared love of grapes for snack in elementary school, dislike of a certain class in high school, or eating lunch at the same time at work.  Whatever brings us together, we find in each other something we like, it feels good to be together and confide in each other.  We come to count on each other to help us celebrate the joys life brings us and commiserate over the sorrows.  The gift of friendship is one of the best one person can give to another.

          Sometimes we get caught up in the stresses of trying to get the “right” gift for someone we love.  In truth, the best gift you can give someone is your time, and your attention. Presents wrapped in pretty paper with bows are nice, but probably when all is said and done what you’ll remember most are the intangibles that you have received. Whether that means memories of how someone always made you laugh, or how connected you felt to another person, good feelings are the greatest gift of all. In other words, love.

Why? Just Why?

  

     Sometimes I see things on TV or social media and I ask myself why? Why is that something someone did and then took a picture or a video and put it out there in the universe?

     Recently I saw a video on Facebook that someone made of a chicken wearing pants and running around outside with other chickens. I showed it to my daughter and asked her why someone would do that? First, how do you think to put pants on a chicken and second, how would you accomplish that, and third why do you take a video of it and post it on social media? I guess it isn’t hurting the chicken, it seemed happy enough, I just don’t understand it. We had a good laugh over it.

          We watch cartoons a lot in our house and so we also see the commercials targeting kids. Why, just why, are there such gross games being made and marketed to kids? There’s a toilet game that shoots a piece of poop into the air. I’m not sure if that means you lost or won the game, but in real life you’ve definitely lost if that happens. There is another game where the players are popping pimples on a plastic head. Unless you’re hoping your child grows up to be a dermatologist, what is the value of this game? I don’t understand this trend.  Do we really need to encourage kids to do gross things?  It’s been my personal experience both as a former kid and a mother that they are quite adept at doing gross, disgusting things without any encouragement at all.  Maybe I’ve just gotten old, or maybe because I am a mother to only girls, but I don’t see why these things exist.

          When watching the news there are many times when I silently ask why?  There are statements made by celebrities and political figures that keep me wondering what is happening. There are crimes reported that are just strange, such as someone licking the doorbell on the house of a stranger for hours, robbers caught snuggling on a couch with the family dog in a house they were burgling, and Christmas decorations stolen and then returned when the thieves had a change of heart.  Every time there is a change of weather, it seems as if there needs to be team coverage to demonstrate that it’s going to snow in January, or be 100 degrees and humid in July along with warnings to either stay warm and bundled up, or stay hydrated and don’t do anything strenuous in the heat of  midday. I think we don’t really need to be reminded of these common sense self- preservation tactics.  How did our species manage to survive all this time without an official reminder?  Are there really lots of people out there who don’t understand that when it’s cold out you should wear a coat, or when it’s hot out you might consider taking it easy and drinking a little extra water?  Just why do they feel we need to be reminded constantly? I don’t get it.

          There are many things in life that I don’t understand; things that make me ask the universe “Why?  Just why?”  I don’t expect an answer.