Mama’s Pans

         I’ve been spending the past few weeks trying to avoid the things that I must do that I don’t want to think about let alone do.  I took a short foray into one of those must do’s and spent a good chunk of the day in tears until I made a conscious decision to do something that I wanted to do and did it.  Since that day I’ve been trying to mix in every day something that I do for no other reason than because I want to and it will make me feel happy.  So it was that yesterday I found myself contemplating my maternal grandmother’s cookie sheets.

         I was in the kitchen clearing up dishes and cleaning things when I spied in the cupboard a pouch of gingerbread cookie mix and a tube of vanilla cookie icing.  I love making cookies!  I love eating warm cookies!  Out came the mix, a bowl, and the pans.  The pans are old.  My mother had them all my life as far as I remember; they had been her mother’s before that.  They don’t make pans like that anymore.  They are sturdy, rustless, heavy and a bit blackened with age and they bake cookies like no other pans I’ve ever used.  I like thinking about all the thousands of cookies that have been baked on those cookie sheets.  Christmas cookies, potluck supper cookies, bake sale cookies, college care package cookies, and now just because I want to cookies.  My daughter came into the kitchen and asked why I was making cookies, and approved of my “just because I want to” response, as did my husband when he got home.  The ginger snaps were delicious, and we even have some left.  I think it’s important to include in everyday things that we do simply because we want to, especially if life is filled with things that we don’t really want to do, but truly must.  Do something to make yourself happy and everything else won’t seem so bad.

My Lunch Lady Heart

As my 13^th school year ends I am elated at the prospect of some free time during the summer (one of the perks of being a 10 month employee!).  Since I began this illustrious career in an elementary school and moved to the high school only 3 years ago I am still serving some of the same students from my early days.  Even if I don’t remember all of their names, I recognize the faces.  Some of them haven’t changed much, just a lot taller and with less of the baby look about them.  Underneath all their teenage bravado they’re just kids who want to eat when they’re in my line.  Sometimes they remember me and ask how I’m doing which I find very sweet.  My colleagues and I are noticing how increasingly when we are out at local stores and restaurants the roles are reversed and these same children we serve food to are serving us, and they recognize us.  Not only do they know who we each are, (perhaps not by name), but they seem genuinely happy to see us!  So we are not just the faceless people slapping food on a tray and collecting their money, we are part of their school life. One recent day as I was setting up my station some of the students were standing nearby.  One girl who was absentmindedly watching us expressed to me how we did a lot of work just to serve them lunch.  Wow! Knowing that at least some of the students have respect for us, and are seemingly glad to see us makes my lunch lady heart smile.  A nice note on which to begin my summer.