Mama’s Pans

         I’ve been spending the past few weeks trying to avoid the things that I must do that I don’t want to think about let alone do.  I took a short foray into one of those must do’s and spent a good chunk of the day in tears until I made a conscious decision to do something that I wanted to do and did it.  Since that day I’ve been trying to mix in every day something that I do for no other reason than because I want to and it will make me feel happy.  So it was that yesterday I found myself contemplating my maternal grandmother’s cookie sheets.

         I was in the kitchen clearing up dishes and cleaning things when I spied in the cupboard a pouch of gingerbread cookie mix and a tube of vanilla cookie icing.  I love making cookies!  I love eating warm cookies!  Out came the mix, a bowl, and the pans.  The pans are old.  My mother had them all my life as far as I remember; they had been her mother’s before that.  They don’t make pans like that anymore.  They are sturdy, rustless, heavy and a bit blackened with age and they bake cookies like no other pans I’ve ever used.  I like thinking about all the thousands of cookies that have been baked on those cookie sheets.  Christmas cookies, potluck supper cookies, bake sale cookies, college care package cookies, and now just because I want to cookies.  My daughter came into the kitchen and asked why I was making cookies, and approved of my “just because I want to” response, as did my husband when he got home.  The ginger snaps were delicious, and we even have some left.  I think it’s important to include in everyday things that we do simply because we want to, especially if life is filled with things that we don’t really want to do, but truly must.  Do something to make yourself happy and everything else won’t seem so bad.