Never Ending Winter

 

               

This winter season feels as if it will never end. I know many people feel the same way. We’ve been dealing with this pandemic for a year now, and it’s been almost a year since I went to work.  One year ago today I was out to lunch with a group of childhood friends and when we were saying our goodbyes we vowed to get together once a month.  It hasn’t happened due to the COVID related restrictions.  Maybe in a few months we can do it again, but it remains to be seen how comfortable everyone is with getting together.  I think that it’s going to take some time before I’m able to put potential health risks aside and enjoy a gathering of people I don’t live with. I’m hoping for some type of family gathering for Easter, but it remains to be seen if all parties involved will be up for it.  It’s been months since I have seen anyone besides supermarket and pharmacy workers or medical professionals in person. It’s been longer than that since I’ve seen someone’s entire face.

               The snow storms have come nearly one every few days and a couple of them lasted two or three days.  The roads around here have been narrowed by snowbanks and driving through an intersection became a test of faith weeks ago. The weariness of snow clearing is showing in how early we fall asleep and how achy our bodies are.  It’s tough clearing the cobwebs out of my head in the morning when all is gray and dark.  I find myself turning on as many lights as possible in the house during the day just to feel awake.  We did have a couple of days featuring sunshine and temperatures in the low 40’s which helped whittle away some of the collected snow before the next storm blew in and dumped copious amounts of the frozen white stuff on us.  It felt good on those more temperate days to go outside and walk in the driveway in the sun for a few minutes.  The one good thing is that as we head toward the end of winter, even if the air remains cold the sun gets a little stronger every day.  I find that standing in the warm sun gives me hope that soon we will be able once again to spend some time outdoors without bundling up and shivering.

               As I hibernate here in my house during this long, lonely winter I spend my time (in between caring for my daughter) alternately reading and watching crime dramas. Shoveling snow actually began to feel good while I was doing it because it was something different and got me outside for a little while.  I will be very glad when at last the snow melts and I can carry a chair to the patio to enjoy an afternoon outside reading or visiting with friends and family, and listening to music.  Come on spring!

Grilled Cheese

 

A cartoon channel we watch in our house runs a short video of Elmer Fudd singing the glories of the grilled cheese sandwich.  My husband loves that video to the point that if I am in another room and it comes on he texts me to let me know.  It’s pretty funny to see and hear a cartoon character extoling the virtues of a basic sandwich, yet I understand.  Grilled cheese is such an iconic comfort food that just mentioning it sends even the most accomplished chef into a rapturous state of nostalgia.

               Every time I drive past the site where Stewart’s, a drive in restaurant, stood during my childhood I remember the grilled cheese sandwiches they served there.  Where I grew up was rural, and there weren’t fast food restaurants around like there are now.  There were a couple of nice restaurants in town, there were Woolworth’s and Britt’s (a local department store) lunch counters, and a couple pizzerias (or pizza parlors, as we called them), and just outside of town the drive in restaurant where they brought your food out on trays that hooked to the window of your car.  When my family went out to eat, this is where we went. My 3 brothers and I and my parents loaded into the old blue station wagon and drove there for dinner. I rode in the middle of the back seat, wedged in between my two older brothers while my younger brother rode between my parents on the front seat.  With the windows open on a hot summer evening, we were excited to be going out for dinner!  I don’t know what everyone else ordered, probably burgers and fries, but I always got the same thing—a grilled cheese sandwich.  It was delicious, and as close to gourmet dining as my young palate could get.  They used yellow American cheese and square white bread which they grilled to golden perfection, placed on a paper plate, cut into two triangles, and served with two pickle chips on top.  There was nothing else like it in the world to my little girl mind. Now I make it with rye bread, whole wheat, white or Italian bread, and cheddar, American, or Swiss cheese, depending what I have on hand.  I always have a dill pickle with it, usually cut into spears and a cup of tomato soup on the side. Somehow, it’s never as good as that sandwich I had at Stewart’s when I was young, squished in between my bigger brothers on a hot summer evening listening to my parents talk and laugh and my brothers goofing around.

               It seems that most everyone enjoys a grilled cheese sandwich as comfort food, and has happy memories of eating one.  It’s a sandwich on nearly every restaurant menu in one form or another, even high end restaurants who may offer it as a grilled brie with cranberry compote on focaccia bread or some other such fancy combination of cheese and bread served hot. I bet when you finish reading this you’re going to be craving the most iconic comfort food sandwich there is---grilled cheese. (Try it with pickles, it’s wonderful!)

A Storm's A-comin'!

 

               For days the weather people have been predicting a storm for our area.  They are quite dramatic about it all, starting with about a week out hinting that there could be some activity in about a week.  As the days go by they tantalize viewers with all the possibilities shown by the various computer models they use.  About three days out they start warning of “significant” snow fall and “plowable” totals, but show the highest amounts in an area that typically doesn’t see that much accumulation. As we get closer to the actual formation of the storm they start moving the highest totals away from their first favored area until at last, hours before the storm is to hit they inform us that the typically hardest hit areas are once again to expect the highest amounts of precipitation. Then, just to keep the drama going, they raise the amounts every couple of hours.  They are excited!  The news teams start going out to do reports on how well the road crews are prepared to keep the roads safe and clear while urging people to stay home once the flakes start to fall.  Mayors hold news conferences to inform the fair citizens of their town or city of the upcoming storm, preparations, emergency plans, and to urge everyone to stay off the roads.  With the explosion of social media platforms even mayors of small towns can send out a video or live stream to the townsfolk to keep them up to date. 

It seems a crazy thing when I think back to when I was a kid (at the risk of sounding like an old lady) and we looked out the window to see what was happening, and listened to our local radio station to find out if school was closed. That was it, all the warning we had.  I don’t recall anyone running out to the store before a storm to “stock up” on anything since we usually had whatever we needed already on hand.  There was food in the house, and we had snow shovels and rock salt to melt any icy areas already.  A snow storm was an event, but not as dramatically so as it is now.  We went outside to play in the snow; snowman and fort building, sledding, snow ball fights, snow angels, tramping paths through deep snow and chasing each other through them were all the fun we needed.  We even used to get cereal bowls, fill them with snow and go back in the house to top it with sugar and food dye to make snow ice cream.  It was fun!  That is how I remember snow storms, just fun with no big build up or stress.  It was just something that happened in the winter.  When the storm was over we measured it to see how much there was, put on boots, coats, hats and gloves and got on with life.

Our storm started this afternoon, ahead of schedule, and it looks to be settling in for a relatively long time, a couple of days’ worth of snow according to the reports.  Medical offices have cancelled all appointments, town halls and libraries are closed, schools are closed and are planning for remote learning only for the day after snowmageden.  Before the pandemic and schools even having remote learning, the day after would have been a delayed opening to give road crews, buildings and grounds for the schools, teachers and support personnel time to get their cars cleared to go to work. I guess having the remote option eases some of the stress of trying to dig out of deep snow early in the day, so that’s a plus. We will very likely end up watching tv coverage of the storm where they will interview plow drivers, people out on the road and at stores “stocking up to hunker down”, and as things progress they will live stream driving around in their news vans to demonstrate in real time how dangerous driving is in these conditions.  There will be the obligatory snow pictures on social media as we remind ourselves and each other that although big storms are inconvenient and can be dangerous, there is still beauty to the falling snow.

Everyday Things

 

               There’s no denying that big moments are not what make up most of our lives.  Our lives are a string of everyday things; making coffee, grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning the floors, and preparing meals.  Add in interactions with family, friends, and strangers and there you have your average life.  Now and then there are big moments; awards, weddings, christenings, funerals, moving, and milestones such as graduating. The fabric of our lives is made up of many threads.

               It’s the mundane things that give us some security and comfort.  While folding laundry is not one of my favorite activities, it reminds me that I am blessed indeed to have clothing and the means to keep it clean and stored so it’s ready to be worn.  Apparently I need that reminder often since it seems that there is at least one load waiting to be dealt with on a daily basis!  The scent of the detergent, and the unique way a freshly dried pile of clothing smells speak of home and safety.  When my girls were babies I hung the laundry on a clothesline to dry in order to save on our utility bills, but as they grew and my attentions were drawn elsewhere, those golden days of little shirts and bedsheets flapping in the sun gave way to rushing from activity to activity and the whirring of the washer and dryer in the evening after everyone was clean, fed and settled in for the night.  There were times that a mountain of laundry awaited me Sunday afternoon wedged in between meals and family time. Now I am back to the task being almost a daily requirement and I’m not sure if it was better to leave all for one day or to spread it out this way.  Probably it doesn’t matter much, as long as it gets done.  I take solace in the knowledge that I’m not the only one who is frequently reminded of this blessing.

               Planning and preparing meals then cleaning up the kitchen and dishes is another ordinary task that most everyone does.  It starts with brewing coffee or tea in the morning, and is there any more welcome aroma and sound than the tea kettle whistling or the coffee maker gurgling while rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and getting your body stretched and ready to meet the day? Even if you’re guzzling that brew or pouring it into your travel mug as you run out the door, it is a small pleasure we look forward to upon awakening.  Routinely making a lunch to take along or putting together a sandwich at noon when you’re home, and then cooking dinner at the end of the day lends us a sense of normalcy in what is sometimes a chaotic time of our lives.  Seeing our kitchen cleaned up as we sip something warm and comforting in the evening gives a sense that we made it through the day and can rest knowing that we’re ready for tomorrow.

               Daily tasks give us a base to return to when work and other events threaten to unbalance us.  Although they may feel boring or annoying at times, they are useful for keeping ourselves on track to be the best that we can be.  If we can feel content that whatever else life throws at us there’s always going to be humdrum tasks to help us move along, then we can handle most anything.

Reaching Out

 

               Reaching out to someone can be hard.  Whether you’re reaching out to help, or for help, it isn’t always easy. What if we are rejected? Doubts spring out of nowhere, causing us to second guess ourselves.  When you’re reaching out to help someone, especially if they haven’t asked for it, sometimes we’re afraid the other person will be offended somehow, as if we don’t think they can handle whatever is happening in their world.  That shouldn’t stop us.  It’s tough to be rejected, but sometimes there may be an initial rejection followed by eventual acceptance of the offer.  People want to know that someone cares even if they don’t want help; they just need to know that someone noticed their struggle and is willing to help.  It’s a bit like being in a room with a blocked door but knowing that you could go out through the window if necessary instead of having no way out at all.  There are times when just knowing you have the option of assistance is enough to get through a rough patch.

               Reaching out for help is even harder sometimes.  You might feel inadequate, like a failure because you can’t help yourself.  The old adage, “God helps those who help themselves” comes to mind, as well as constantly seeing those who don’t ask for or accept help shown as heroic.  That’s great, if they have found a way to get through challenges without any assistance from others, but it doesn’t mean that asking for or accepting offered help makes someone weak or a coward.  Not everyone is wired to get through challenges alone; I think most of us are not.  It’s a hard lesson to learn, asking for and accepting help, but once you realize that people don’t help you for the most part because they feel obligated, although there is some of that in the world, most of the time people want to help because it makes them feel connected a greater good.  We surely do need more connection to a greater good in the world.  It is not a failure or cowardly to reach out for help.  It is an act of courage to say, “I need help with this, can you help me?”  You might be surprised at how eager people can be to help you. There will be those who won’t or can’t help, but if you don’t ask you could be missing out on the best help for you.

               I have always been independent minded, it’s the way I was raised.  I’ve been known to get angry when someone tried to help me, as if I didn’t deserve kindness, or I was somehow a lesser person because it appeared I couldn’t manage things alone.  I came to realize that feeling overwhelmed is not a good feeling, and accepting assistance so that life is more manageable is better.  Whether it’s at work, or at home, or wherever and whatever the situation is, it feels better to accept or ask for help.  Sometimes people can’t help me, and while it’s annoying (probably need to work on that some), it doesn’t hurt to ask.  Generally even if the thing I most want done isn’t possible, someone is able to aid in another way that makes it easier to move through a challenge.  Helping each other is one of the best ways to feel connected to a greater good, and that’s never a bad thing.