Reaching Out

 

               Reaching out to someone can be hard.  Whether you’re reaching out to help, or for help, it isn’t always easy. What if we are rejected? Doubts spring out of nowhere, causing us to second guess ourselves.  When you’re reaching out to help someone, especially if they haven’t asked for it, sometimes we’re afraid the other person will be offended somehow, as if we don’t think they can handle whatever is happening in their world.  That shouldn’t stop us.  It’s tough to be rejected, but sometimes there may be an initial rejection followed by eventual acceptance of the offer.  People want to know that someone cares even if they don’t want help; they just need to know that someone noticed their struggle and is willing to help.  It’s a bit like being in a room with a blocked door but knowing that you could go out through the window if necessary instead of having no way out at all.  There are times when just knowing you have the option of assistance is enough to get through a rough patch.

               Reaching out for help is even harder sometimes.  You might feel inadequate, like a failure because you can’t help yourself.  The old adage, “God helps those who help themselves” comes to mind, as well as constantly seeing those who don’t ask for or accept help shown as heroic.  That’s great, if they have found a way to get through challenges without any assistance from others, but it doesn’t mean that asking for or accepting offered help makes someone weak or a coward.  Not everyone is wired to get through challenges alone; I think most of us are not.  It’s a hard lesson to learn, asking for and accepting help, but once you realize that people don’t help you for the most part because they feel obligated, although there is some of that in the world, most of the time people want to help because it makes them feel connected a greater good.  We surely do need more connection to a greater good in the world.  It is not a failure or cowardly to reach out for help.  It is an act of courage to say, “I need help with this, can you help me?”  You might be surprised at how eager people can be to help you. There will be those who won’t or can’t help, but if you don’t ask you could be missing out on the best help for you.

               I have always been independent minded, it’s the way I was raised.  I’ve been known to get angry when someone tried to help me, as if I didn’t deserve kindness, or I was somehow a lesser person because it appeared I couldn’t manage things alone.  I came to realize that feeling overwhelmed is not a good feeling, and accepting assistance so that life is more manageable is better.  Whether it’s at work, or at home, or wherever and whatever the situation is, it feels better to accept or ask for help.  Sometimes people can’t help me, and while it’s annoying (probably need to work on that some), it doesn’t hurt to ask.  Generally even if the thing I most want done isn’t possible, someone is able to aid in another way that makes it easier to move through a challenge.  Helping each other is one of the best ways to feel connected to a greater good, and that’s never a bad thing.