Little Things I Miss

               It’s the little things that make up our days.  Those daily things that keep us organized, our households running, and bring brief moments of contentment are the ones we often miss the most when our lives are altered in some way.  Sometimes we don’t realize how important they are until they are no longer there. Since March, when our schools and then businesses closed due to the pandemic, I have been out of work, and staying home.  At first, they said it was for 2 weeks.  “Cool!” I thought, a little vacation, time for extra rest and get a couple of cleaning/decluttering projects done.  It did not, however, turn out that way!  It’s been 4 ½ months since the last time I went to work, and returning doesn’t look likely any time soon.  I realized over the course of time that what I miss the most are the daily things that make for a “normal” day.

               One of the most basic things that I miss is having a routine, a timetable to stick with or the whole day is off kilter. Even though my workday mornings were rushed, it enabled me to keep moving with a purpose.  It started the day off with an objective, and things fell into place from there.  In spite of trying to institute some type of routine while at home, it’s too easy to slack off and just meander through the day because if something doesn’t get done today, there’s always tomorrow or the day after that, etc.  It’s frustrating when basic chores don’t get done, but not so much so that they feel urgent.  Mostly I’m at loose ends, and feel no purpose to my day. I know I’m not the only one finding this to be true.  Something else I miss is saying good morning to coworkers, and having short conversations throughout the work hours about what’s happening in our personal lives and thoughts on the work ahead of us each day.  I miss the physical activity from my job, and the mental work, giving me something else to think about besides my own problems.  Trying to replicate the physical activity and communication with others is challenging when you’re stuck at home.  Exercising, texting and Zoom calls help, but there’s nothing like hard work and person to person exchanges.  I also miss being able to run quick errands as I did after work many days.  A quick trip to the pharmacy or grocery store, library, or post office were things I took for granted and now I have to wait for someone else to get home before I can run any errands since her day program is closed until further notice, and I can’t risk exposing her to the virus so don’t take her into any public places. There were days when I’d go out for coffee after work with a coworker or two, and that doesn’t happen now, either.  I’m not sure I truly appreciated everything that I was able to do daily before this historic event.

 It’s a strange and isolating time we’re in right now.  Feeling at loose ends and purposeless some days is tough to get used to and work through.  All we can do is try to fill the time with useful and personally fulfilling activities, and try to keep in touch with friends, family and coworkers electronically until it’s safe to see each other in person.

Coffee and Donuts

               My first job was in a national chain coffee & donut shop.  It was a fun and fragrant job, featuring interactions with many people from all walks of life, and the enticing smell of brewing coffee and baking donuts.  It was a place where people, for the most part, were happy.  After all, even if you’re having a less than good day, a steaming cup of coffee and sweet treat can be a cheering respite from grueling work and worry.  It’s also a hopeful way to start the day, get employees to attend a meeting, catch up with a friend, or feel cozy when away from home.

               I think most everyone has a favorite flavor donut.  I like a nice, fresh, powdered sugar donut, although jelly donuts are also nice.  Of course, there is something to be said for cream filled or chocolate donuts, and plain ones can’t be beat for dunking in a fresh cup of coffee or glass of ice cold milk.  Donut holes are also a tasty little bite, just right when time is short and you just need something quick and sweet to pop into your mouth on the run.  I recently realized that if you’re going to be popping donuts while driving it’s best to have the donut holes, as bigger donuts tend to fall apart which is awkward while driving and likely to make a mess in your car and possibly on the front of your shirt, depending on what type of donut you’re eating.  Jelly donuts are nearly impossible to consume neatly in this circumstance, as the filling is likely to drip where you don’t want it and make a sticky mess and also leave a stain.  Cake type donuts are less messy, but the sugar or cinnamon coating tends to end up sprinkled all over everything in the area.  There are donuts available in nearly every store, and many farmers markets and orchards sell homemade cider donuts which are a really special treat.  One would think that since I worked in a donut shop and went home every day smelling of donuts and coffee that I would be sick of both.  I am far from sick of either one—I love coffee and I love donuts!  I usually have a box of those yummy circles in my house, and of course there is always coffee.  Naturally, too many donuts will result in the need for larger pants, but with the proper restraint one can indulge frequently without negative effects; too much coffee (I know, some people will not understand how there could ever be too much coffee, ha-ha!) can result in jitteriness, or at the very least lots of chatter (this is how I am affected by too much coffee, just ask my husband or daughter).  Some people get a little loose with alcohol consumption, but I am much more fun with caffeine and sugar coursing through my veins.  It becomes nearly impossible to control my tongue when I’m indulging that way, usually to the delight and entertainment of those in my company and sometimes to my chagrin.  It doesn’t stop me from occasionally over indulging.

               Over all, I recommend treating yourself to donuts and coffee, or tea if you’re not such a coffee drinker.  Some days we all need a little something to perk us up, something that feels friendly and comforting, and adds a little sweetness to life.

Marking Time

               I joined the marching band when I started high school, many, many years ago. I already knew the basics of marching, as both my older brothers were in the group ahead of me and schooled me in the basics.  I don’t recall having a choice in the matter, but probably I agreed readily to learn as younger siblings are apt to do when trying to keep up with their older counterparts.  One of the parts we learned was marking time.  There are many times in the course of a parade or half time performance that the band members must march in place—marking time.  I didn’t think much about it once I graduated and moved on into adulthood, until recently.  During this pandemic I feel as if all I do is mark time, figuratively, and then began to do it physically most days as a way to remain active.

               Stay at home orders and businesses and schools shutting down puts a community into a weird suspended state.  Your “normal” life is put on hold and there you are trying to fill the hours of your days with activities to keep your mind sharp, your body moving, and, if you have family there with you, to keep everyone from getting on each other’s nerves too much. Early in the shutdown the weather wasn’t conducive to being outside much as it was a cold and windy spring.  I took my daughter out for rides nearly every day, just to get out of the house. Once home, it was easiest to fill the time before my husband came home with TV and reading books.  Not much physical activity was happening outside of household chores and occasional bouts of decluttering.  Once nicer weather arrived, I took to walking my daughter, in her wheelchair, up and down the driveway in order to get some activity, followed by relaxing on the patio or deck and reading, in between blowing bubbles and texting with friends and family.  I don’t go to parks out of an abundance of caution because I’m not confident that the virus can’t be transmitted by simply walking past someone, even outside.  Once summer weather got into full swing, it was too hot to walk much so, in order to get that exercise in I began marking time for 10 -20 minutes a day.  I usually do it while my daughter is watching TV, and she looks at me as if I have lost my mind.  Maybe I have, but, I am at least not gaining any weight; although I was hoping to lose some this way.  Perhaps a few less salty snacks and less ice cream would help with that, but I love my little treats too much to give them up entirely!  This marking time takes an emotional toll, and any way I can feel a bit better is worth it to me.

               I’ll continue marking time for the foreseeable future, as will many others.  When all this is finally over, I wonder how much “normal” life will be left? 

The Art of Sitting Still

The sun is out,

The air is hot,

Some like that,

Some do not,

Either way you’ve

Got to deal,

Keep it cool,

Keep it real.

There are people who simply cannot sit still.  They don't just fidget, they must be on the move and get up to do something they forgot about, or just to walk to the door and look outside; sometimes they go outside and walk around the yard or prune the plants.  They feel ill at ease with simply being still, as if it is a waste of time and they are unproductive in life. They never mastered the fine art of sitting still.

You might be wondering what is so special about sitting still. Well, it is something that I do and enjoy it. I like sitting still and contemplating whatever comes to mind. My favorite place to sit is outside. Outdoors I can notice the way the dappled sunlight highlights different parts of the landscape, objects on the ground, and potted plants, for instance. I can watch leaves flutter in the breeze, and watch clouds sail across the sky and birds flit tree to tree or soar on air currents high above that I can't feel on the ground. I can hear birds singing, the slap of someone’s shoes walking down the street, and the tinkling of wind chimes. Sitting still also allows my mind to wander, and give me a break from current worries and things that puzzle me. Quiet contemplation frees my mind to wander memory lane, or make plans for the future. It allows for daydreaming and writing poems in my head that never make it to paper, as fleeting as a wisp of smoke. This summer, being that we are still in our months long quarantine,  I have taken to spending time on lazy afternoons on either the shady patio or sun dappled deck blowing bubbles for Hillary's amusement. I highly recommend this activity even if you don't have someone to amuse for a while. Blowing bubbles causes you to take deep breaths and empty your lungs slowly. Watching the translucent orbs, with their rainbow on one edge, float away or be carried off on the breeze is a relaxing way to spend some time.  You can even imagine the delicate spheres are carrying away your troubled thoughts, or carrying messages to your loved ones in Heaven. That's a lovely thought, isn't it?  It's hard to blow bubbles when you're on the move; it's only possible when you're still.

I recommend trying sitting quietly for a bit some lazy afternoon under the shade of a big tree, sipping iced tea and perhaps blowing bubbles. Then contemplate the clouds sailing across the sky for a bit and listen to the sounds around you.  It can be very refreshing for both your body and mind.

Father's Day Again

Dads

A dad will tell a joke that’s lame,
You will laugh just the same,
He will say that you must hurry,
Then will tell you not to worry,
Sometimes he might curse and grumble,
But when praised will seem humble,
He will watch his children grow,
With love and pride he may not show.

Well here we are at Father's Day again. The years go by so quickly that it feels like we just celebrated this day not too long ago, but, obviously it's been a whole year.  This year, as in most previous years, we spent the day quietly and just with the four of us. Not just because of the pandemic, but that's who we are. We are low key and content to spend a lazy afternoon in our air conditioning since it was a hot & humid day. It was at least sunny so I could use the grill to cook dinner. It was requested that I cook a T-bone steak and some foil pouch potatoes on the grill. I added shrimp cocktail, asparagus and sautéed mushrooms to the menu, with mixed berries and whipped cream for dessert.  It was all delicious!

While I was out cooking on the deck I could hear what some of the neighbors were doing to celebrate. It was so nice to hear kids laughing and squealing with delight, and some were splashing & playing in a pool with their dads. One neighbor, who has no small children and is divorced was talking on the phone while watering new grass in her yard. Perhaps she was talking to her father, I like to think so but I don't know.  Still another began mowing his lawn after dinner while his children played together, the little girl dancing around in a princess dress. It was a really pleasant day, and quite relaxing.

Fathers. They're all different, yet some things are the same--lame "Dad" jokes, reassuring, sometimes cranky, awkward and humble when praised, and loving under a somewhat gruff exterior. Those of us blessed with good fathers are grateful beyond measure.