Joy In 2020

Christmas is coming In less than a week,

 We’re hoping to find

 The joy that we seek,

 It’s not in the lights

 Or ribbons and bows,

 Nor is it found with

 A reindeer’s red nose,

 The Grinch found the answer,

 Guess he’s pretty smart,

 We must find that joy,

 In each other’s heart.

 As Christmas rushes at us this year, I’m having difficulty finding joy in anything. I’m feeling like the Grinch. It’s been a rough one, this year; it’s been a year of loss in many ways both personally and collectively for us all. We lost our ability to connect with each other on a daily basis and, trapped each in their own little world it became harder to see and understand what is happening with friends, family and strangers. Technology can help us keep in touch, but there are so many nuances lost by being separated as we have been and still are. While there is hope that we can begin to come together in person in the coming months, it is not something we can safely do right now.

 I guess I didn’t realize how much I depended on the day to day interactions I used to have with people. The quick kibitzing at work with my coworkers and customers, encounters with my fellow shoppers at the supermarket, and getting together with friends at a restaurant or coffee shop are all things that I am missing. Zooming and texting are good ways to keep in touch, but you can’t always pick up on a mood when communicating electronically. The anonymity of wearing a mask whenever in public is disconcerting. With only the eyes showing, it’s hard to tell if someone is smiling, relaxed, frowning, or tense when you’re out at the supermarket for instance. Our voices are muffled behind the masks and that makes it harder to pick up on how someone is doing as some inflection is lost in the mouth covering. It feels lonely to me, even when I’m out at the store. We are standing apart when in line, trying to avoid each other in the aisles and the parking lot, and there’s a barrier between us and the cashier. It’s an isolating experience.

 So how can we find the joy of the season in each other’s hearts this year? We can keep trying to connect, and learn how to read the nuances of someone wearing a face covering, talking on a delay in a zoom meeting, or including emojis in text messages. We’re all humans and we are adaptable, we are determined to find a way to connect with others no matter what. So we wave to each other from a distance, we share memes and jokes over texts; we tell each other the news of our lives and share our thoughts. We find things in common to connect through times when we cannot be in each other’s physical company.

 This whole year has been different and challenging, we shouldn’t really expect the Christmas season to be any easier. We can, however learn a new way to spread our joy and love for each other. Reaching out in different ways bridges the gap until it is safe, once again, to hug, shake hands, sit elbow to elbow around a table, and walk arm in arm. I wish for you joy this Christmas, and for you to find a way to share it with others. Sharing multiplies it, makes it bigger, just as the Grinch’s heart grew 3 sizes when he realized the meaning of Christmas.

Cookie Magic

Recently I spent a Sunday afternoon baking for Christmas. I look forward every year to baking a few different types of cookies and a fruitcake or two to help make the holiday season special. The recipes I use are mostly handed down through family, some from my side, and some from my husband’s. Sure, I could make them any time of the year, but by keeping them for this time of the year makes them more of a treat. I love cookies, and I am not alone. It seems that everyone brightens up when there are homemade cookies around. I know that if someone surprises me with some I am a happy camper! As much as I love being gifted with cookies, I love giving them to others. It seems like even just a picture of cookies causes a positive reaction, judging by the responses to pictures of the cookies I baked that I posted on social media. It made me wonder, what is it about just the mention of them that causes a bit of happiness? I can only speak from my own experience here, as I am not any kind of psychoanalyst or therapist, but I think those little tasty morsels feel like love. I feel cozy inside, like when I was a child and walking in the door after school to the scent of chocolate chip or sugar cookies baking. What’s more comforting than a plate of cookies and a glass of ice cold milk or a steaming cup of hot cocoa when you’re feeling depleted in the afternoon? Of course now that I’m an adult I’m more likely to have a cup of tea or coffee at hand with my discs of deliciousness. If I kept all the cookies I baked I would be in trouble with the doctor, not to mention the clothes in my closet! So I like to share them. This year, of course, I can’t take some into work as I normally would because I’ve not worked since everything shut down around here in March. So I decided that I will share them some other way. I can surprise the neighbors, send some into work with my husband, take some to my daughter, and give her some for her coworkers. Spread the love around, that’s what I say. How about those folks that you used to be friends with but simply grew apart from so that you only exchange a word here or there or holiday cards? Wouldn’t they be pleasantly surprised with a gift of your homemade cookies? How about your doctor’s office, your town police, librarians, or even the post office? Wouldn’t the workers enjoy a little unexpected thoughtfulness? Have you had a falling out over politics with someone you used to enjoy being with? Maybe the gift of some freshly baked morsels would help you both remember that you actually do like each other and perhaps put aside the things that separate you and find things you have in common again—like gingersnaps or brownies. You never know until you try. I know that cookies aren’t going to bring about world peace, or solve all the many problems in the world, but gee, it’s nice to think that you could have a few moments of calm, and share the feeling with just the right blend of flour, sugar, and butter. I wish for you this Christmas season cookies; whether you make them or you are given them, they can bring you some momentary joy.

Thanksgiving 2020

 Thanksgiving may be different,

For many this year, sad,

We miss the ones not with us,

But for those still here we’re glad,

We may not be together 

As we have been in the past,

We’ll help each other through this,

Until we can be together at last.

There’s no denying that this year everything is different, and usually not in a way we ever thought things would be. While it was disappointing to be planning a small feast instead of the bigger one we usually have, there were still bright spots to the day.

To start with, the food was delicious and the scent of roasting turkey filled the air while we watched the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. Although I feel that the broadcasters and performers had a slight air of desperate happiness about them, they did a good job making it seem like the extravaganza it usually is. It must have felt really strange to have silent, empty streets where there are usually noisy crowds cheering and clapping as they proceeded down the route. Also strange feeling was the lack of marching bands one would typically have in the parade. All in all, they did a good job of keeping up a much loved tradition in an untraditional year.

Our food was delicious and we ate our fill. There’s plenty of leftovers for future meals which is nice as it will give me a break from cooking for a few days. After we ate and rested a bit, my older daughter and I headed outside to put up the Christmas decorations. It was quite balmy out, so no need for coats and no frozen fingers fumbling with the lights. While we were outside the adorable little family that lives on one side of us came over to give us some of the most beautiful and delicious cake pops that they made. It was a nice surprise and very much appreciated. They were also hanging Christmas lights this afternoon. The house across the street put theirs up a week ago, and an extended family member who was visiting them today told us our lights look nice. I am so thankful to have nice neighbors!

We ended our day with coffee and desserts, and watching Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune together. There was, of course, all day texting going on with various family members and friends. Even though we couldn’t all be together, we were able to share parts of our day with each other. 

Next year we should be able to be together for Thanksgiving. This year we made the best of it, and it was still a nice day.

November Gift

 

Typically around here November is cool, most days in the lower 50’s or upper 40’s.  But we recently had about a week of the most beautiful weather—deep blue, cloudless skies and temperatures in the low to mid 70’s and no humidity.  It was such a gift, especially since I missed most of the gorgeous October weather we had due to the hospital adventure.  I took full advantage and spent time outside as much as possible, opened the windows in my house, fired up the grill and had a return to summer, (except for the very early time the sunsets now).  It was wonderful but it’s over.  We just had a few days of dreary, rainy, cooler weather to remind us that winter is on the way.  So, too, are the big holidays—Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve.

The holidays are going to be quite different this year, given the resurgence of the virus.  It would be a sad time anyhow, since it’s the first holiday season without my brother Dan.  Now it really won’t even feel like a holiday, something that has happened all this year since the pandemic hit.  At least in the summer we were able to be together outside with people we know and love.  It’s just how it has to be this year, and hopefully next year there will be a vaccine and some immunity so we’ll be able once again to gather together to feast and reminisce, laugh and tell stories from our family’s past.  I will still make the traditional feast for my husband, daughters, and myself but will make smaller amounts.  I’ll pull out the china and wine glasses, and we’ll be thankful that we at least are together.  Maybe we’ll call or facetime with the family that we’ll be missing.  It will feel strange, but it will still be good.

I hope that you all are going to have a good holiday season, and make the best of whatever your circumstances are at present. 

Home and November

Home. Home sweet home!  I didn't realize how much I loved being home until I wasn't able to be for a month.  That's how long I spent in the hospital with Hillary recently.  Getting coffee from the machine on the hospital unit she was in, or when their wasn't any, running down to the hospital cafeteria to grab a quick breakfast before any of the many doctors made their rounds was not the best way to start the day,  This picture is of the first breakfast I had at home in a month, and I ate it in my robe at my leisure and even had a second and third cup of coffee just because I could and without interruption.  It's true that we really do miss the little things and that there truly is no place like home, as Dorothy said in the Wizard of Oz movie.                                                                                                                                                   

The ghosts and goblins have come and gone                                                                                              

A new month starts with the dawn

This is the month we most give thanks

For veterans, voting, and (fill in the blanks),

Please don't rush through this month November,

Take your time so you can remember,

Everyone you are most thankful for,

Feeling thankful for them is not a chore.                                                                                                                    And now we are in November.  The voting has been done but the counting of ballots is still going on.  The  pandemic still rages across our country, as does controversy, mean spirited debate between ordinary citizens, and politicians acting like children who only want their way no matter what.  It is disheartening, and depressing.  So to combat all of that, I am trying to think of and look for the good, the positive, and uplifting, as well as losing myself in books and reruns of crime dramas just because I want to.  Right now the weather here is beautiful and sunny, and unseasonably warm.  We are trying to spend time outside while we can without freezing our noses off, because I know that one day soon we'll be shivering and hiding inside under blankets watching clouds roll in filled with either cold rain or snow, or worse yet, sleet and freezing rain.  Those are dark days to which I don't look forward,  For now I won't think about them and will just enjoy the beautiful weather, and write my little poems and things when I get the chance.  I intend to also be mindful of all that I have to be thankful for, such as Hillary's recovery, nice weather when we get it, road crews who treat the bad roads when the weather gets icy, the sound of my wind chimes ringing in the breeze, ingredients to make food for us to eat, and friends who check in, as well as family who are dear to me.  These are strange times we live in, and it's not easy to keep things upbeat. We try, and keep moving forward trying our best not to get discouraged.