A Storm's A-comin'!

 

               For days the weather people have been predicting a storm for our area.  They are quite dramatic about it all, starting with about a week out hinting that there could be some activity in about a week.  As the days go by they tantalize viewers with all the possibilities shown by the various computer models they use.  About three days out they start warning of “significant” snow fall and “plowable” totals, but show the highest amounts in an area that typically doesn’t see that much accumulation. As we get closer to the actual formation of the storm they start moving the highest totals away from their first favored area until at last, hours before the storm is to hit they inform us that the typically hardest hit areas are once again to expect the highest amounts of precipitation. Then, just to keep the drama going, they raise the amounts every couple of hours.  They are excited!  The news teams start going out to do reports on how well the road crews are prepared to keep the roads safe and clear while urging people to stay home once the flakes start to fall.  Mayors hold news conferences to inform the fair citizens of their town or city of the upcoming storm, preparations, emergency plans, and to urge everyone to stay off the roads.  With the explosion of social media platforms even mayors of small towns can send out a video or live stream to the townsfolk to keep them up to date. 

It seems a crazy thing when I think back to when I was a kid (at the risk of sounding like an old lady) and we looked out the window to see what was happening, and listened to our local radio station to find out if school was closed. That was it, all the warning we had.  I don’t recall anyone running out to the store before a storm to “stock up” on anything since we usually had whatever we needed already on hand.  There was food in the house, and we had snow shovels and rock salt to melt any icy areas already.  A snow storm was an event, but not as dramatically so as it is now.  We went outside to play in the snow; snowman and fort building, sledding, snow ball fights, snow angels, tramping paths through deep snow and chasing each other through them were all the fun we needed.  We even used to get cereal bowls, fill them with snow and go back in the house to top it with sugar and food dye to make snow ice cream.  It was fun!  That is how I remember snow storms, just fun with no big build up or stress.  It was just something that happened in the winter.  When the storm was over we measured it to see how much there was, put on boots, coats, hats and gloves and got on with life.

Our storm started this afternoon, ahead of schedule, and it looks to be settling in for a relatively long time, a couple of days’ worth of snow according to the reports.  Medical offices have cancelled all appointments, town halls and libraries are closed, schools are closed and are planning for remote learning only for the day after snowmageden.  Before the pandemic and schools even having remote learning, the day after would have been a delayed opening to give road crews, buildings and grounds for the schools, teachers and support personnel time to get their cars cleared to go to work. I guess having the remote option eases some of the stress of trying to dig out of deep snow early in the day, so that’s a plus. We will very likely end up watching tv coverage of the storm where they will interview plow drivers, people out on the road and at stores “stocking up to hunker down”, and as things progress they will live stream driving around in their news vans to demonstrate in real time how dangerous driving is in these conditions.  There will be the obligatory snow pictures on social media as we remind ourselves and each other that although big storms are inconvenient and can be dangerous, there is still beauty to the falling snow.

Everyday Things

 

               There’s no denying that big moments are not what make up most of our lives.  Our lives are a string of everyday things; making coffee, grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning the floors, and preparing meals.  Add in interactions with family, friends, and strangers and there you have your average life.  Now and then there are big moments; awards, weddings, christenings, funerals, moving, and milestones such as graduating. The fabric of our lives is made up of many threads.

               It’s the mundane things that give us some security and comfort.  While folding laundry is not one of my favorite activities, it reminds me that I am blessed indeed to have clothing and the means to keep it clean and stored so it’s ready to be worn.  Apparently I need that reminder often since it seems that there is at least one load waiting to be dealt with on a daily basis!  The scent of the detergent, and the unique way a freshly dried pile of clothing smells speak of home and safety.  When my girls were babies I hung the laundry on a clothesline to dry in order to save on our utility bills, but as they grew and my attentions were drawn elsewhere, those golden days of little shirts and bedsheets flapping in the sun gave way to rushing from activity to activity and the whirring of the washer and dryer in the evening after everyone was clean, fed and settled in for the night.  There were times that a mountain of laundry awaited me Sunday afternoon wedged in between meals and family time. Now I am back to the task being almost a daily requirement and I’m not sure if it was better to leave all for one day or to spread it out this way.  Probably it doesn’t matter much, as long as it gets done.  I take solace in the knowledge that I’m not the only one who is frequently reminded of this blessing.

               Planning and preparing meals then cleaning up the kitchen and dishes is another ordinary task that most everyone does.  It starts with brewing coffee or tea in the morning, and is there any more welcome aroma and sound than the tea kettle whistling or the coffee maker gurgling while rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and getting your body stretched and ready to meet the day? Even if you’re guzzling that brew or pouring it into your travel mug as you run out the door, it is a small pleasure we look forward to upon awakening.  Routinely making a lunch to take along or putting together a sandwich at noon when you’re home, and then cooking dinner at the end of the day lends us a sense of normalcy in what is sometimes a chaotic time of our lives.  Seeing our kitchen cleaned up as we sip something warm and comforting in the evening gives a sense that we made it through the day and can rest knowing that we’re ready for tomorrow.

               Daily tasks give us a base to return to when work and other events threaten to unbalance us.  Although they may feel boring or annoying at times, they are useful for keeping ourselves on track to be the best that we can be.  If we can feel content that whatever else life throws at us there’s always going to be humdrum tasks to help us move along, then we can handle most anything.

Reaching Out

 

               Reaching out to someone can be hard.  Whether you’re reaching out to help, or for help, it isn’t always easy. What if we are rejected? Doubts spring out of nowhere, causing us to second guess ourselves.  When you’re reaching out to help someone, especially if they haven’t asked for it, sometimes we’re afraid the other person will be offended somehow, as if we don’t think they can handle whatever is happening in their world.  That shouldn’t stop us.  It’s tough to be rejected, but sometimes there may be an initial rejection followed by eventual acceptance of the offer.  People want to know that someone cares even if they don’t want help; they just need to know that someone noticed their struggle and is willing to help.  It’s a bit like being in a room with a blocked door but knowing that you could go out through the window if necessary instead of having no way out at all.  There are times when just knowing you have the option of assistance is enough to get through a rough patch.

               Reaching out for help is even harder sometimes.  You might feel inadequate, like a failure because you can’t help yourself.  The old adage, “God helps those who help themselves” comes to mind, as well as constantly seeing those who don’t ask for or accept help shown as heroic.  That’s great, if they have found a way to get through challenges without any assistance from others, but it doesn’t mean that asking for or accepting offered help makes someone weak or a coward.  Not everyone is wired to get through challenges alone; I think most of us are not.  It’s a hard lesson to learn, asking for and accepting help, but once you realize that people don’t help you for the most part because they feel obligated, although there is some of that in the world, most of the time people want to help because it makes them feel connected a greater good.  We surely do need more connection to a greater good in the world.  It is not a failure or cowardly to reach out for help.  It is an act of courage to say, “I need help with this, can you help me?”  You might be surprised at how eager people can be to help you. There will be those who won’t or can’t help, but if you don’t ask you could be missing out on the best help for you.

               I have always been independent minded, it’s the way I was raised.  I’ve been known to get angry when someone tried to help me, as if I didn’t deserve kindness, or I was somehow a lesser person because it appeared I couldn’t manage things alone.  I came to realize that feeling overwhelmed is not a good feeling, and accepting assistance so that life is more manageable is better.  Whether it’s at work, or at home, or wherever and whatever the situation is, it feels better to accept or ask for help.  Sometimes people can’t help me, and while it’s annoying (probably need to work on that some), it doesn’t hurt to ask.  Generally even if the thing I most want done isn’t possible, someone is able to aid in another way that makes it easier to move through a challenge.  Helping each other is one of the best ways to feel connected to a greater good, and that’s never a bad thing.

Old Year, New Year

 

 

 

 This perplexing year is winding down

 

Our heads have not stopped shaking

 

As if we're experiencing a wild dream

 

From which we're having trouble waking.

 

—from 2016–I still feel the same!

 

Farewell 2020

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

This year we learned 

To wash our hands,

And value toilet paper,

We sported masks,

Wore pants less,

And kept our distance proper.

Docs and nurses became heroes,

Teachers taught from home,

Kids and parents did their best,

While unable to freely roam.

Technology use increased,

As we tried to stay in touch,

With those that we were missing,

Slouching pant-less on the couch.

Many people lost their jobs,

Many lost their health or life,

Others lent a helping hand,

To those living with great strife.

Through it all, this crazy year,

The year called 2020,

We looked for good,

We hoped and prayed,

For the world and our country.

 

There is no denying that 2020 was a year unlike any that I can recall.  So very many things, big things happened, and it was hard to keep up with what was going on.  I think for me I will most remember what was taken away.  It was the year that my job as lunch lady ended with the closing of schools for an extended period of time.  As of this date, January 1, 2021, the buildings are still closed.  With the disappearance of my job came the emptiness of no daily contact with friends and coworkers, and interactions with acquaintances and students. People are what I miss the most, I think.  Hillary also lost daily interaction with her friends and carers at her day program; I also lost the little bit of respite from her care that I had.  Of course, I also lost my income, but since my husband is considered an essential worker, he has continued to work throughout the pandemic and we only needed to make a few adjustments to keep us afloat.  We are incredibly lucky in that.  I also lost my freedom to go out and about with Hillary to stores, parks, and malls since she is medically fragile and I can’t take a chance on her contracting the virus.  Even wearing masks is not enough protection for her since it’s tough keeping it on her for any length of time.  My husband and I lost date nights, and any parties we might usually attend.  I miss sitting across from him in a booth at our favorite local restaurant perusing the menu, stirring our coffee, and making small talk.  Sure, we can do that at home but it’s not the same.  We lost our vacation to visit family that we usually take, and holiday get togethers except for the summer ones with local family because those we had outside. Thanksgiving and Christmas felt empty and weird.

Another huge loss of 2020 was the death of one of my brothers to a sudden heart attack.  It was a shock; it still doesn’t feel real even though I know it is.  We weren’t able to gather for a funeral, it doesn’t seem right, and there again is something that this virus took away.  It was strange not buying him a birthday card or Christmas gift.

My older daughter moved out of our house into her own apartment and while I am so happy for her, it feels strange still, all these months later, sitting on the couch in the evening without her.  It’s a strange quiet that I’m still getting used to.

I think that many people felt much loss in this year that just ended, loss that we will all continue to come to terms with for a long time. My wish for 2021, among others, is that we will all learn make peace with what our lives are like, and how they changed from what we knew before the pandemic hit.