It’s A Wonderful Life

 Here we are, starting a new year, 2024. The one just passed was, as always, a mixture of good things and bad things. A year where carefully made plans flew out the window to be replaced by short notice, illnesses, home improvements and social occasions. There was also some loss, close calls, confusion, and just generally all the things that lives are made up of. 2023 was fast paced, ever changing and bittersweet. I think most years are that way when we look back on them. Through it all, I try to keep my chin up and move forward. Although my heart may be heavy and fears trying to take over my thoughts, I have a determination to make it through and find something positive to focus on. I don’t always succeed, but with the help of family and friends I generally find my way through.

Also, I am thinking about things I have done differently in 2023. Here are a few of them:

— My husband and I do the grocery shopping together since he retired early in the year. I used to go alone and sometimes I still do, but us going together is now the norm.

— I eat cheese curls with a toothpick to keep my hands clean. Funny, right? I did it by accident one day, I had a toothpick holding a sandwich together and when I took it out it stuck in a cheese curl on my plate. It was a delightful revelation for me as I always ended up needing to scrub the orange dust off my fingers after indulging in those delightful crunchy salty morsels.

— I planted fewer flowers in pots last summer. It’s a lot of work and I found that I was just as happy with less, and the upkeep was less taxing.

— I stopped chasing friends. I realized that I do not have to be the planner. If friends want to get together I usually will, but I let them initiate most of the time. It’s much less frustrating to let them decide when there is time in their schedules since mine is pretty open. That’s not to say I ignore them unless they contact me, communicating is a 2 way street, after all, I just prefer for them to let me know when their schedules allow for us to meet.

— I returned to my church after many years of staying away. I was delighted and moved that I was welcomed back by many familiar faces and joined a bible study group. It’s nice chatting with different yet familiar people on a more regular basis. 

All of these things remind me that it is truly a wonderful life. I wonder what 2024 will bring?

Oh Spirit

 Where is my Christmas spirit? I wish I knew! Buried, perhaps, somewhere under all of the other feelings I have from dealing with the upsetting and life altering events of this crazy year? Well, probably. Surely it is in there, waiting to be awakened. I’m hoping it is trying to push its way to the surface, to put the light of anticipation in my eyes and heart that are usually in evidence by now. Anticipation of the beautiful decorations I will place in my house. Anticipation of the treats and gifts I will share with the ones that I love and the fun we will have together. Anticipation of the beautiful cards I will receive and send, and of the church celebration of Christ’s birth. The lovely music, and telling of stories both old and new. I know that spirit lives in me, surely I would not have hung outside Christmas lights and hung greenery on my front door, and gone shopping for some Christmas gifts if the spirit were not there. I would not have put on a Christmas tee shirt and tacky Christmas tree earrings to attend a Christmas party if it were not awakening. No, if the spirit buried in me had died I would have done none of those things. It is there, it just needs some encouragement to rise and become stronger, putting the light of anticipation of joy in my eyes and in my heart.

Constant State of Emergency

 

This has been a year when I feel that I’m nearly living in a constant state of emergency. We have had, in our house, some sort of virus affecting one of us almost every month. Add to that an accelerated date of retirement for my husband due to his job being eliminated at the beginning of the year, necessitating quickly figuring out health insurance for each of us, finances, and a huge change in routine all while dealing with illness. The washer broke and had to be replaced, the bathtub was rusting and had to be dealt with, the van needed work and our home health aide was in a motorcycle accident and is not expected to be back before October. It’s a lot of stuff to wade through, but we did it and do it because it’s just life. Through it all we try to maintain a positive attitude and keep moving forward. Sometimes, however, it’s tough when the world seems determined to focus on the negatives.so here are some good things that have happened. I have a brand new washer! It works really well and the man that delivered and installed it could not have been nicer, patiently explaining things and showing us how to set the controls, etc. My bathtub is now rust free and beautiful, and safer as we added safety bars. It’s such a pleasure using it! We had a man come and power wash the outside of our house, decks, and patio and seal all the wood. It looks brand new and we bought a new table and umbrella for the patio, and lovely annuals we put in pots and hanging baskets. We also have a patio garden on wheels that is yielding some zucchini, tomatoes, eggplant and peppers! The extra hot and humid sauna like weather really helped everything grow this year. The van, once repaired has been reliable and took us to visit family in another state for a few days. We had a nice visit in beautiful surroundings. We got home safely and have had some time to relax before resuming attending to the many appointments and responsibilities that are part of life.

So you see, there are many positives in life, and I try to focus on those to counter the negatives that come our way, and the ones that the news casters and social media seem to feel we need to be inundated with on a daily if not hourly basis. I wish you peace.

                                It was a steamy, cloudy morning in the mountains where we were.

   The new bathtub and safety bars.

Flowers on the patio.

          A beautiful sunset sky after a thunderstorm. I love the colors and the way the clouds are.

          The fire in the fire pit at my sister in law’s place, I think the log “ chimney” is so cool!

Suddenly It’s July

Well here we are in July already! I’m not sure how it happened so fast, it seems like it was just the end of May and poof! June is gone!

Happy Birthday, America!

This little goldfinch visited our yard one day. He sat for a few minutes on the shepherd’s hook preening, was joined by his mate, then they both flew away. I’ve been keeping my eye out, hoping they are nesting nearby and will come visit again. They’re so beautiful!

These two pictures of the setting sun were taken a couple weeks apart. It’s so hard to believe that smoke from fires so far away can be affecting us here. Some days we can even smell it! Strange times.

The Smokey sun inspired poetry.

There had been rain the night before and I was outside looking at the plants in our patio garden very early in the day. I thought the raindrops clinging to this leaf was cool so I took a picture, then changed it to black and white for the backdrop to a rhyme.

This is the same picture in color. Not sure if this is a zucchini leaf, or an eggplant leaf. The plants are doing really well this year!

 

May Thoughts 2023

    

  Lately I’ve been thinking about how a year ago I was seriously injured and out of commission for a while. It’s a weird kind of anniversary, but it was a huge learning experience. I had to learn to step back and let others take over doing most everything, including caring for my daughter. Of all the things I could not do for a few months that is the one that gave me the most stress. Thankfully my husband stepped up in a huge way, and we were able to connect with a wonderful caregiver to do the weekday morning “shift” of getting  our girl up and ready for her day habilitation program bus. I also couldn’t drive for a while so had to rely on grocery deliveries and rides to doctor and physical therapy appointments. I’ve always been an independent person and having to rely on others and accept help for everything was quite challenging at first. It helped to remind myself that just as it lifts me up to help others, they were being lifted up to be able to help me. 

     May is a month of celebration and commemoration. It is both my husband’s father’s and my mother’s birth month, Mother’s Day, my father’s death date, and Memorial Day. That is many events to reflect on and memories to go over. It can make me a little sad when I think about how I will never again share birthday cake with my father-in-law or my mother in May. Never again will I see my mother’s delight at a flower to plant in her yard or piece of jewelry to wear for her birthday or Mothers Day. Sometimes when I’m out shopping I see a blouse or necklace and think, “Mom would have liked that”. I miss picking out those birthday cards. I think about my father’s passing 3 days after my mother’s birthday, and how unexpected it was. I miss his quiet, gentle presence and dry sense of humor. I often think of him when I hear songs on the radio that we listened to together in his car when he drove me to my boyfriend’s house in high school. I remember how tenderly he held my babies and sitting on his knee as he read “The Three Billy Goats Gruff” and other fairy tales to me when I was a small child. We miss him, we miss them all.

     Memorial Day is how we end this month, and we generally mark it with the first cookout of the summer season, although it is still technically spring. We used to get together at my parents’ house every year for “burgers and dogs”. Mom made potato and macaroni salads, and we had a good time in the back yard all afternoon. Now I have a cookout at my house, with pretty much the same menu— why change a good thing? I look forward to it every year. I remember my senior year of high school and I was on the drill team with the marching band; we twirled the flags as we marched in front of the band. For Memorial Day that year instead of our usual uniforms we wore denim shorts, white tee shirts and white canvas shoes. We were very happy about that! It’s funny the things we remember.

     I hope you have a May filled with memories of good times and loved ones