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Monday, December 21, 2020

Joy In 2020

Christmas is coming In less than a week,
 We’re hoping to find
 The joy that we seek,
 It’s not in the lights
 Or ribbons and bows,
 Nor is it found with
 A reindeer’s red nose,
 The Grinch found the answer,
 Guess he’s pretty smart,
 We must find that joy,
 In each other’s heart.

 As Christmas rushes at us this year, I’m having difficulty finding joy in anything. I’m feeling like the Grinch. It’s been a rough one, this year; it’s been a year of loss in many ways both personally and collectively for us all. We lost our ability to connect with each other on a daily basis and, trapped each in their own little world it became harder to see and understand what is happening with friends, family and strangers. Technology can help us keep in touch, but there are so many nuances lost by being separated as we have been and still are. While there is hope that we can begin to come together in person in the coming months, it is not something we can safely do right now.

 I guess I didn’t realize how much I depended on the day to day interactions I used to have with people. The quick kibitzing at work with my coworkers and customers, encounters with my fellow shoppers at the supermarket, and getting together with friends at a restaurant or coffee shop are all things that I am missing. Zooming and texting are good ways to keep in touch, but you can’t always pick up on a mood when communicating electronically. The anonymity of wearing a mask whenever in public is disconcerting. With only the eyes showing, it’s hard to tell if someone is smiling, relaxed, frowning, or tense when you’re out at the supermarket for instance. Our voices are muffled behind the masks and that makes it harder to pick up on how someone is doing as some inflection is lost in the mouth covering. It feels lonely to me, even when I’m out at the store. We are standing apart when in line, trying to avoid each other in the aisles and the parking lot, and there’s a barrier between us and the cashier. It’s an isolating experience.

 So how can we find the joy of the season in each other’s hearts this year? We can keep trying to connect, and learn how to read the nuances of someone wearing a face covering, talking on a delay in a zoom meeting, or including emojis in text messages. We’re all humans and we are adaptable, we are determined to find a way to connect with others no matter what. So we wave to each other from a distance, we share memes and jokes over texts; we tell each other the news of our lives and share our thoughts. We find things in common to connect through times when we cannot be in each other’s physical company.

 This whole year has been different and challenging, we shouldn’t really expect the Christmas season to be any easier. We can, however learn a new way to spread our joy and love for each other. Reaching out in different ways bridges the gap until it is safe, once again, to hug, shake hands, sit elbow to elbow around a table, and walk arm in arm. I wish for you joy this Christmas, and for you to find a way to share it with others. Sharing multiplies it, makes it bigger, just as the Grinch’s heart grew 3 sizes when he realized the meaning of Christmas.

Wednesday, December 9, 2020

Cookie Magic

Recently I spent a Sunday afternoon baking for Christmas. I look forward every year to baking a few different types of cookies and a fruitcake or two to help make the holiday season special. The recipes I use are mostly handed down through family, some from my side, and some from my husband’s. Sure, I could make them any time of the year, but by keeping them for this time of the year makes them more of a treat. I love cookies, and I am not alone. It seems that everyone brightens up when there are homemade cookies around. I know that if someone surprises me with some I am a happy camper! As much as I love being gifted with cookies, I love giving them to others. It seems like even just a picture of cookies causes a positive reaction, judging by the responses to pictures of the cookies I baked that I posted on social media. It made me wonder, what is it about just the mention of them that causes a bit of happiness? I can only speak from my own experience here, as I am not any kind of psychoanalyst or therapist, but I think those little tasty morsels feel like love. I feel cozy inside, like when I was a child and walking in the door after school to the scent of chocolate chip or sugar cookies baking. What’s more comforting than a plate of cookies and a glass of ice cold milk or a steaming cup of hot cocoa when you’re feeling depleted in the afternoon? Of course now that I’m an adult I’m more likely to have a cup of tea or coffee at hand with my discs of deliciousness. If I kept all the cookies I baked I would be in trouble with the doctor, not to mention the clothes in my closet! So I like to share them. This year, of course, I can’t take some into work as I normally would because I’ve not worked since everything shut down around here in March. So I decided that I will share them some other way. I can surprise the neighbors, send some into work with my husband, take some to my daughter, and give her some for her coworkers. Spread the love around, that’s what I say. How about those folks that you used to be friends with but simply grew apart from so that you only exchange a word here or there or holiday cards? Wouldn’t they be pleasantly surprised with a gift of your homemade cookies? How about your doctor’s office, your town police, librarians, or even the post office? Wouldn’t the workers enjoy a little unexpected thoughtfulness? Have you had a falling out over politics with someone you used to enjoy being with? Maybe the gift of some freshly baked morsels would help you both remember that you actually do like each other and perhaps put aside the things that separate you and find things you have in common again—like gingersnaps or brownies. You never know until you try. I know that cookies aren’t going to bring about world peace, or solve all the many problems in the world, but gee, it’s nice to think that you could have a few moments of calm, and share the feeling with just the right blend of flour, sugar, and butter. I wish for you this Christmas season cookies; whether you make them or you are given them, they can bring you some momentary joy.