French Toast or Stuffing?

Tuesday Haiku

A storm is coming
Thanksgiving is coming too
French toast or stuffing?

 

Think about it.

--from 11/25/14

Two days before Thanksgiving the weather forecasters predicted a storm to hit our area the morning of the day before Thanksgiving.  Of course, since they are based in New York City, at first they said rain, possibly mixing with some wet snow with no major accumulation on the roads, some accumulation in the higher elevations well north and west of the city (us!).   I don’t know what happens where you live when a winter storm is on the way, but around here most of the population panics and runs to the supermarket to stock up on bread, milk and eggs.  I used to work at one of our local supermarkets and so I can attest to this first hand.  I do not understand this phenomenon as unless a major blizzard is expected we are really only inconvenienced for a few hours by unplowed roads, generally 18 hours at most. People stock up like they’ll be snowed in for a week at least.  So it was that I got to wondering if the stores would have enough bread to supply everyone because turkey stuffing is made with bread, a snowstorm staple it seems, and with one on the way perhaps there would be reports of a bread shortage and then people would have to choose which to have—French toast during the storm or stuffing on the big day? I watched the news anxiously the next day, and kept an eye on social media but there were no reports of a bread shortage.  Two of my relatives reported, however, that Tuesday evening there were only a couple quarts of milk left (skim, to boot!) by 7:00 and a few loaves of bread.  No report on the eggs but I’m sure there were enough to go around.  Of course if the holiday had been Easter the eggs might have been in short supply and folks would have needed to decide between coloring hard cooked eggs to color for Easter baskets and egg hunts or their snow French toast.  One of the aforementioned relatives also reported that another supermarket’s parking lot was full with cars waiting for spots to empty out.  That much business usually happens the day before a holiday as well as before a storm so I can only imagine how busy they had been all day.  I also heard anecdotally that the day before Thanksgiving, in the height of the 8” or so of heavy wet snow we received, the local supermarket was not busy at all.  See, we (around here for the most part) are wimpy in comparison with places such as Buffalo, NY where our 8” probably made them laugh because they had about 7 feet last week. Around here, it’s a big deal and I watched a town pickup with snowplow attached get stuck in the snow on my street the other day.  He finally backed down the hill to the highway and went up a street he’d already successfully cleared before making a pass down our road.  Last year two plows got stuck at the top of my street on the corner; a big snowplow was the first to get stuck and then the pickup tried to help and they were stuck facing each other a few feet apart.  That was something to see at 5:00 a.m.  They were stuck at the top of my street and I was on my phone with my husband who was stuck in his car at the other end trying to get out onto the highway to attempt his 40 plus mile commute to work.  A man who lives in the house at that end came out with a shovel and made a path for him to drive his car through the snowbank to get onto the highway.  There really was quite a lot of snow last year.  I’m hoping this year will not be quite as snowy.  Although I’m sure the grocers and suppliers of bread, milk and eggs wouldn’t mind!

Where Love Lives

Did you ever go to someone's house and just know upon walking in that this is a place where love lives? One of those houses where there's nothing fancy or terribly expensive, just comfortable furniture; a house decorated with family pictures both ancient and new, where there is a pleasant mingling of odors from food cooked, candles burned and floors mopped. It is a house where you just feel as if you are on a little vacation from your worries; you're being refreshed and all you are doing is sitting in the living room talking, and eating a bowl of canned pasta with a grilled cheese sandwich. You're in the presence of people whom you know have disagreements yet don't allow those to fester into life altering dissatisfaction with each other. Because they respect each other and care deeply for each other; each celebrating and sharing the other's uniqueness and accomplishments with the universe. I know of such a house and family. I am blessed to be related to them and they bring that feeling of peace I feel when at their home with them to mine and where ever they go. I think they would be surprised to learn all of what I've just related because they are that humble. Love lives in them, it can be seen in how they treat each other, it can be felt when they are near in how they approach life with wonder and enthusiasm. Love lives in them in such abundance that it spills over, touching whoever is near.

Halloween

It’s cider and donuts

It’s ghosts and it’s ghouls

It’s one day of the year

To be who you choose

It’s giving out candy

But snacking on more

It’s wondering who

You will find at your door

Be safe my dear friends

While you’re out trick or treating

One never knows just who

You’ll be meeting!

Happy Halloween!

 

It seems as if Halloween has become very popular, much more so than when I was a kid.  It could just be that when I was younger and when I had young children I didn’t think about how popular it was, it was just something everyone did October 31^st—wear a costume, carve a pumpkin, stuff old clothes with leaves and sit it in a chair on your porch or hang it from a tree limb.  We used to put up paper decorations of witches and black cats and spooky ghosts.  My brothers and I went house to house in our neighborhood saying “trick or treat” and collecting candy from the neighbors.  It was fun, it was exciting and of course the candy was the best part!  When my girls were young there were school parades and parties, and the stress of knowing that while we were out walking the neighborhood there was nobody to give out the candy at home.  Somehow it all worked out, and we’d have cider and donuts after.  When I worked at the elementary school kitchen it was fun to stay after my work hours to see the kids parading in their costumes, and the costumes the teachers wore. I have a collection of tacky Halloween earrings from that time.  It’s not so easy to be in costume while you’re preparing and serving a hundred plus meals.  Our high school doesn’t allow the students to dress up for Halloween during school hours.  It seems sad somehow because in my high school yearbook there are pictures of the seniors wearing costumes to school and some of them were really great!  We don’t get many trick or treaters anymore. I guess our neighborhood doesn’t have that many young families anymore, and the town has started having a Halloween party in the evening for the kids.  I guess it keeps them safer and out of trouble but it seems odd without lots of kids knocking on the door seeking candy. Perhaps it has something to do with our area—steep hills, narrow roads and no sidewalks. Halloween is a strange holiday and the most frightening thing about it is that before we finish that candy we’ll be planning Thanksgiving dinner and thinking about Christmas!

The Weight of What Isn't

  

         Sometimes I feel the weight of what isn’t.  It lies heavily on my heart. Mostly I focus on the positives about my life.  There are times, though, that it’s hard to find an uplifting view. Because the one thing I struggle with always is living a normal life; and my life isn’t.  Once a special needs child is born into your family your life may never feel normal. No matter how typical you try to be the fact is that things will always be different.  You’ll take vacations, attend family celebrations, go to school and sport activities, and attend town events. You’ll do all the things that families without special needs kids do, but it will be harder and it will feel abnormal.  We all experience things in unique ways, but your experience will be so unique as to be a completely different experience. Case in point: watching a parade. I constantly have to ask people not to stand in front of my daughter in her wheelchair thus blocking her view.  I used to enjoy a parade.  Now I dread attending a parade, which is a shame since my husband is a member of a pipes and drum band and marches numerous times a year. I see people all around me enjoying the spectacle, waving to friends and family marching, applauding and watching while I’m either trying to navigate my way through the crowd with the wheelchair or keeping my daughter’s line of sight clear. Perhaps what is most bothersome to me is how unlike everyone else I feel at those times.

         The weight of what isn’t is isolating if allowed to grow unchecked.  What helps me is regularly having some time to look forward to where I am not primarily known for being mother to a child with special needs.  A part time job, occasional visits with a lifelong friend, and joining a writers club are  ways I found to allow me to be Sue first, and that special needs mother second.  It’s important not to forget who we are, and who we were, to be the best parent possible.  Being known as a good worker, an aspiring writer, and a good friend ultimately help me to be the parent I need to be.

PBJ & Comfort Reading

Sometimes you just need some comfort. There’s nothing like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a big glass of ice cold milk for lunch when you’re having one of those days.  For me the jelly must be grape, which some might find odd since I grew up on peanutbutter and strawberry jelly sandwiches in my lunch bag.  Some of my fondest memories of my high school friend Maureen involve that sandwich.  I didn’t eat lunch at lunch time; I was far too busy having fun laughing and talking to my friends to eat anything!  So as Maureen and I walked the mile home we split my sandwich; even if it was raining or snowing we usually walked home.  My mother never had grape jelly in the house.  I don’t know why, but my maternal grandmother, Mama, always had homemade grape jelly on her table.  I remember sneaking spoons of it when we were at her house and wishing I could have it at home.  I never asked why we didn’t have it at home as far as I remember.  I’m curious now as to what my mother’s aversion to grape jelly might have come from.  I’ll never know but it doesn’t stop me from enjoying it!  Sometimes on the weekend my husband and I have pbj for lunch and I always have a glass of ice cold milk with it.  Even just thinking about it makes me feel cozy and comforted somehow.

Sometimes I want something comforting but not food.  That’s when I turn to books.  Recently my adult daughter and I went to the library together.  I went to a club meeting there and she found solace from a stressful day at work in the quiet among the books.  I nearly stumbled over her as I browsed the fiction section after my meeting ended as she sat on the floor at the end of a row with a small stack of books next to her.  Feeling a little stressed myself I headed for my fall back authors.  I decided on two short books by Rosamund Pilcher and one by Janet Evanovich.  The short books I’ve read many times.  I find it comforting to reread books that I particularly enjoy and Ms. Pilcher’s books have an especially cozy appeal for me as they take place in Scotland and London and the characters drink tea and sit by fires in wool sweaters throughout the stories.  It’s hard to explain but I like it.  The Janet Evanovich I hadn’t read before but I enjoy her Stephanie Plum series as they take place in New Jersey and the characters and plots make me laugh out loud as I read. 

We all need to have food and activities that bring us comfort, even if we don’t realize that is why we enjoy them time and again.  I can hardly wait for the weekend so I can curl up in the couch corner with a pbj sandwich, a glass of milk and a comforting book.