Ok, so maybe I had too much cake today! Happy Birthday to me!
Birthday Cake
You loved me at first sight,
Anticipating my sweetness,
How satisfying I would be,
Welcomed me to the celebration,
The others sang to me,
Illuminated me,
You smiled and breathed on me,
Then things turned,
The knife slicing me,
Dissecting me,
Ice cream cold on me,
Forks digging into my tenderness,
I hope it was worth it,
I was your birthday cake.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
HAPPY GROUNDHOG'S DAY, DAD!
The recent passing of a childhood friend’s father had me remembering my own dad, who moved to Heaven in 1997. The earliest memory I have of my dad is of him reading to me. I can picture the book, a collection of fairy tales and fables which had a beige hardcover with red lettering. One of my favorites was “The Brementown Musicians”. I can see in my mind’s eye an illustration of the animals in the story all standing on each other’s backs looking into a window. It is, however, when I think of the story of the three little pigs that I can hear Dad’s voice when the wolf is huffing and puffing and blowing the houses down. There was nothing better as a young child than sitting on Dad’s lap listening to a story. This is perhaps where my love of reading comes from, as well as my love of telling a tale.
Dad was a hard working, soft spoken, gentle man with a quick mind and dry wit. For as long as I can remember he worked 12 hours a day, 6 or 7 days a week. When he wasn’t working he was fixing something around the house or on the car, or tinkering around in the basement. He could fix a radio or tv, a toaster, a mixer, even on occasion a vacuum cleaner, and he seemed happy doing it. Although he didn’t graduate from school, he was intelligent and inquisitive, reading books, magazines and newspapers daily. He was as quick with a supportive word as he was with an amusing comment. The best person to sit near at a family reunion was Dad, as he was constantly murmuring comments about the relatives and the conversation. Things that might not be something he’d want anyone involved to hear, but amusing just the same. That same quirky, dry sense of humor lives on in me, although I tend to keep the comments to myself rather than risk saying something that causes hard feelings or an argument. One demonstration of Dad’s sense of humor is evident when I think of some of the television shows he enjoyed. Although I didn’t care for Benny Hill, the program made him roar with laughter as did Monty Python’s Flying Circus. I recall my father and brothers all watching those shows, especially the latter, all together. I guess it’s a guy thing. My husband enjoys that type of humor as well.
It was through my husband that I gained a deeper understanding of my father. Dad was able to help my husband get a job at the same factory where he worked, and so I got to hear stories of how my father interacted with his fellow workers. One of my favorite stories is how Dad and one of his friends used to wish each other happy groundhog’s day every February 2nd. I’m not sure what they found so amusing about it, perhaps there was some joke the two of them shared. I could ask his friend or my husband, but some things I don’t need to know. It made him happy, so I’d just like to say “hey Dad, happy groundhog’s day!”
Dad was a hard working, soft spoken, gentle man with a quick mind and dry wit. For as long as I can remember he worked 12 hours a day, 6 or 7 days a week. When he wasn’t working he was fixing something around the house or on the car, or tinkering around in the basement. He could fix a radio or tv, a toaster, a mixer, even on occasion a vacuum cleaner, and he seemed happy doing it. Although he didn’t graduate from school, he was intelligent and inquisitive, reading books, magazines and newspapers daily. He was as quick with a supportive word as he was with an amusing comment. The best person to sit near at a family reunion was Dad, as he was constantly murmuring comments about the relatives and the conversation. Things that might not be something he’d want anyone involved to hear, but amusing just the same. That same quirky, dry sense of humor lives on in me, although I tend to keep the comments to myself rather than risk saying something that causes hard feelings or an argument. One demonstration of Dad’s sense of humor is evident when I think of some of the television shows he enjoyed. Although I didn’t care for Benny Hill, the program made him roar with laughter as did Monty Python’s Flying Circus. I recall my father and brothers all watching those shows, especially the latter, all together. I guess it’s a guy thing. My husband enjoys that type of humor as well.
It was through my husband that I gained a deeper understanding of my father. Dad was able to help my husband get a job at the same factory where he worked, and so I got to hear stories of how my father interacted with his fellow workers. One of my favorite stories is how Dad and one of his friends used to wish each other happy groundhog’s day every February 2nd. I’m not sure what they found so amusing about it, perhaps there was some joke the two of them shared. I could ask his friend or my husband, but some things I don’t need to know. It made him happy, so I’d just like to say “hey Dad, happy groundhog’s day!”
Friday, January 28, 2011
I Miss My Patio
As I was shoveling the snow off my back deck this afternoon when I got home from work my mind was wandering. Warm sunshine, green leaves, butterflies, a comfy glider were the things I was thinking about. When the weather turns warmer these are the things I enjoy after work along with either a cup of coffee or glass of iced tea. There on my patio is where I transition from work me to home me. Shoveling snow doesn’t do it quite as well. I miss my patio. In the winter it is covered with snow, there are no flowers or leaves, no butterflies, no glider to relax on. I can’t even sit on the small retaining wall at the edge because it’s buried beneath the frozen white.
My warm weather life revolves around the patio. In the corner where the forsythia hangs a bit low is where I hang a spinner for Hillary to enjoy. She so loves to look at the leaves fluttering in the breeze while the shiny spinner reacts to the moving air. In the spring before the leaves appear it is a nice sunny spot to enjoy some air after a day spent inside. Once the buds open up and the air is warmer the same spot is shady until nearly dinner time. It is such a pleasant spot to be. When Anna was in high school it is where we met once she was home to talk about her day, her worries, or simply to sit side by side on the glider sipping something cold, eating pretzels and reading. When Bruce gets home from work he joins us, relaxing in the Adirondack chair for a bit before going inside to watch the news.
The patio symbolizes a more relaxing rhythm of days, there is just as much to be done yet time seems to be moving at a slower, much easier pace. It means salads and lighting the grill to cook an easy dinner, open windows, curtains fluttering in the afternoon breeze, and waiting to see if the hummingbirds will visit the flowers in the hanging baskets. It is currently snowing again, however, so I’ll have to content myself with watching the winter birds and squirrels at the bird feeder through the window, my favorite blanket, and endless cups of tea. I really miss my patio.
My warm weather life revolves around the patio. In the corner where the forsythia hangs a bit low is where I hang a spinner for Hillary to enjoy. She so loves to look at the leaves fluttering in the breeze while the shiny spinner reacts to the moving air. In the spring before the leaves appear it is a nice sunny spot to enjoy some air after a day spent inside. Once the buds open up and the air is warmer the same spot is shady until nearly dinner time. It is such a pleasant spot to be. When Anna was in high school it is where we met once she was home to talk about her day, her worries, or simply to sit side by side on the glider sipping something cold, eating pretzels and reading. When Bruce gets home from work he joins us, relaxing in the Adirondack chair for a bit before going inside to watch the news.
The patio symbolizes a more relaxing rhythm of days, there is just as much to be done yet time seems to be moving at a slower, much easier pace. It means salads and lighting the grill to cook an easy dinner, open windows, curtains fluttering in the afternoon breeze, and waiting to see if the hummingbirds will visit the flowers in the hanging baskets. It is currently snowing again, however, so I’ll have to content myself with watching the winter birds and squirrels at the bird feeder through the window, my favorite blanket, and endless cups of tea. I really miss my patio.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
SOME OF WHAT I'VE LEARNED
I've learned that :
wheelchairs don't go well in snowy parking lots.
people can make a really big deal out of nothing.
many people don't know how to deal with life when there is nobody else to blame.
most of those pointing at someone else are really just trying to stop people from paying attention to them.
sometimes you get what you want.
sometimes you get what you need.
sometimes you get what you get.
cookies' calories increase when used to dull worries.
a pot of soup can be stretched to feed many people multiple days.
I don't like to share chocolates.
chicken nuggets are heavenly dipped in nacho cheese sauce.
a bowl of cereal is a lovely way to end the day.
a cold cloth on the head soothes a headache nicely.
much reality tv does not resemble reality, & none of it resembles my life.
sometimes I don't know when to stop
wheelchairs don't go well in snowy parking lots.
people can make a really big deal out of nothing.
many people don't know how to deal with life when there is nobody else to blame.
most of those pointing at someone else are really just trying to stop people from paying attention to them.
sometimes you get what you want.
sometimes you get what you need.
sometimes you get what you get.
cookies' calories increase when used to dull worries.
a pot of soup can be stretched to feed many people multiple days.
I don't like to share chocolates.
chicken nuggets are heavenly dipped in nacho cheese sauce.
a bowl of cereal is a lovely way to end the day.
a cold cloth on the head soothes a headache nicely.
much reality tv does not resemble reality, & none of it resembles my life.
sometimes I don't know when to stop
Saturday, January 8, 2011
New Year, New View
NEW YEAR, NEW VIEW
The new year gives us a chance to look at our lives from a new point of view. We are, of course, free at any time to view things differently. A brand new calendar just gives us an easy starting point. With this in mind I try to look at all that I must do daily with an alternate perspective, and examine a bit my motivations for the choices I make.
The biggest part of my days are spent caring for Hillary, both physically and mentally. One of my main goals for her has always been to give her the best quality, most meaningful life I can for as long as she is with us. I’ve always felt that it was my job to help her live in our world because we cannot live in hers. What if this year I tried to get others to visit her world instead? Maybe that’s a more appropriate goal now. There are laws and policies in place to ensure that she has the opportunity to participate in our world to the extent that her abilities allow, and that’s good. I think that the next logical step is to invite others to visit her world for a while, so they can gain an understanding of how to further include her in the world at large. Isn’t it similar to visiting another culture? How can we understand what another way of life is like if we don’t visit that world? I see it happening in her classroom with the Best Buddies club. Non disabled peers visit the classroom as well as hosting different events after school hours. When all are able to participate in activities that they all enjoy it fosters a level of understanding that reading or talking about inclusion doesn’t come close to. When people with differing abilities can work together, everyone grows a little. Someone without disabilities can look to the peer who has disabilities and see determination to achieve that they may not see or pay attention to in their peers who have no challenges. The person who has disabilities can feel accepted, and try to model the peer’s positive behavior.
The question then is how am I going to do this? I can start, perhaps, by seeking places where there are opportunities for some one on one time with new people. We do take Hillary out quite a bit, but perhaps I can look for new places to go. I can also try inviting more people to our home to spend some time with Hillary. This will be an exciting opportunity for both Hillary and I to broaden our horizons and expand our connections. Good goals for the new year.
The new year gives us a chance to look at our lives from a new point of view. We are, of course, free at any time to view things differently. A brand new calendar just gives us an easy starting point. With this in mind I try to look at all that I must do daily with an alternate perspective, and examine a bit my motivations for the choices I make.
The biggest part of my days are spent caring for Hillary, both physically and mentally. One of my main goals for her has always been to give her the best quality, most meaningful life I can for as long as she is with us. I’ve always felt that it was my job to help her live in our world because we cannot live in hers. What if this year I tried to get others to visit her world instead? Maybe that’s a more appropriate goal now. There are laws and policies in place to ensure that she has the opportunity to participate in our world to the extent that her abilities allow, and that’s good. I think that the next logical step is to invite others to visit her world for a while, so they can gain an understanding of how to further include her in the world at large. Isn’t it similar to visiting another culture? How can we understand what another way of life is like if we don’t visit that world? I see it happening in her classroom with the Best Buddies club. Non disabled peers visit the classroom as well as hosting different events after school hours. When all are able to participate in activities that they all enjoy it fosters a level of understanding that reading or talking about inclusion doesn’t come close to. When people with differing abilities can work together, everyone grows a little. Someone without disabilities can look to the peer who has disabilities and see determination to achieve that they may not see or pay attention to in their peers who have no challenges. The person who has disabilities can feel accepted, and try to model the peer’s positive behavior.
The question then is how am I going to do this? I can start, perhaps, by seeking places where there are opportunities for some one on one time with new people. We do take Hillary out quite a bit, but perhaps I can look for new places to go. I can also try inviting more people to our home to spend some time with Hillary. This will be an exciting opportunity for both Hillary and I to broaden our horizons and expand our connections. Good goals for the new year.
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