Sucked In

It was almost a year ago that at work we were uncertain as to our department’s future and unable to get a straight answer from anyone.  This created a “the sky is falling!” atmosphere which was stressful to say the least.  Although I was certain that my personal circumstances wouldn’t permit me to return after the summer break I went to “save our jobs” meetings.  I participated in a rather public way in trying to stop what was happening with a letter to the editor of several of our local papers. It was printed in our county paper and in the online version of a local free publication.  It was copied, printed, and posted around our work area by my coworkers.  It was an excellent letter, I was told by many.  That was quite gratifying for a writer such as me!  I went to meetings, I wrote a speech for a coworker.  I tried along with the rest of my department and some from other departments and the union to stop the inevitable. I was sucked into the panic and guess what?  The sky fell; well partially.  We all still had jobs with a new company if we chose to take them.  I took a job with them as they were willing to work with my personal situation and so far so good. 

In the past couple weeks I have been barraged with information about changes to the services my disabled daughter receives; and a call to arms.  “The sky is falling!” once again, this time at the state level.  I wasn’t going to join in, my plan was to stay informed; but guess what? I got sucked in and wrote a letter which I sent to the governor, our state’s department of health and human services, and posted on the Facebook page advocating against the proposal. ‘It’s a great letter!’  ‘Very clear and to the point!’  ‘Wonderful strong words!’  Those are some of the comments I received.  Once again gratifying for a writer; but very public and out of my comfort zone.  What’s worse for me personally though is that this letter made me confront the ways in which my child is lacking.  For over 22 years I’ve been by turns confronting and on some level ignoring those things while still dealing with them.  Yet here I am laying it out there for the entire world to see.  It’s heart wounding, it hurts, it stinks.  I prefer to focus on the positives about her; all the things that she is and not what she is not.  Will it do any good?  Will any of this stop the proposal as it is written from being adopted?  Let’s hope that there are a sufficient number of us willing to lay it all out there to make a difference and change the proposal so that it is fair to all.  If not, the sky may indeed fall; or at least part of it, and I’ll be picking up the pieces again.

February Thoughts

February is spelled weird.

Every four years there is an extra day (thank goodness because it’s my birthday!)

My very good friend also has a birthday this month, Happy Birthday!

Love is celebrated this month as well as Presidents Washington and Lincoln.

It’s women’s heart awareness month.

It’s black history month.

This year it’s a very cold and snowy month.

There are noticeably more hours of sunlight this month.

A rodent started us off; I think we need a different animal to do that, like maybe a cute puppy or something.

I eat too many sweets during this month between Valentine’s Day and my birthday—but I like it!

 

 

Three Friends

         Three friends went to dinner last evening after not seeing each other for a few months.  They fell easily into conversation, drove the waiter nuts (probably) because they were so caught up in discussion of their lives they forgot to look at the menu causing him to return several times to inquire if they were ready to order.  Even after their wine glasses and plates were emptied and cleared away they lingered over mugs of ice water until they were the only patrons left and the music was turned off; as is always the case when they meet.

         It’s been over 22 years since the three friends were brought together by their youngest children at early intervention therapies.  They have two children each, the first borns typical in development and the second borns with developmental challenges of varying degrees.  They have seen each other through the many emotions of parenting both special needs and typical children, sharing each one’s triumphs and setbacks.  When one of the children succumbed to her disorder at the tender age of 16 they walked hand in hand through the darkness of grief and keep the child’s memory alive still.  Although they come from three very different backgrounds, and would never have met if not for their children, they feel a kinship which supersedes dissimilarity.  Emotions can be a powerful bonding agent, and is a large part of what keeps these three together.

         When we feel an emotional connection with someone, it doesn’t matter what the details of their individual situations are.  The details give us something to discuss; differing viewpoints to consider as we all try to figure out this crazy life we are given. It’s all part of being human and if we find others who can be our companions on the road it’s beautiful.

Snow Days

There's a blizzard coming at us,

Reports of gloom and doom,

It's going to get deeper

As the storm doth bloom.

We're going to need a shovel, 

The snow blower will vroom

It makes me want to hide away

Safely in my room.

Yet somewhere deep inside of me

Lives a happy child

Who rejoices in the falling snow

And is by the sight beguiled.

(Thanks to my friend Jen Nelson for putting my poem on her beautiful photograph.)

My area is currently in the middle of a very active snowy weather pattern where we are having snow fall every couple of days.  Some days like today are simply a nuisance, one or two inches to scrape off the deck and driveway and brush off the cars.  Some are a downright pain in the behind requiring multiple goings over with the shovel and the use of the snow blower and cancellation of schools,work and Hillary's daycare. I grew up in what was at the time a fairly small town and we didn't have too many snow days off from school.  When we did, though, I remember it being tons of fun!

When I was very young, perhaps 9 years old, snowy days were filled with listening to records with songs like "I've Been Working On The Railroad" on them and using all the kitchen chairs to make a train out of as we sang along.  My brothers and I used to play "animals" where my oldest brother was the "keeper" and he fed my other two brothers and I bowls of cereal as we crawled around making animal sounds such as "woof!" and "grrrr!" I chuckle as I think about it now but it probably gave our mother a chance to breathe.  Sometimes we went downstairs into the unfinished basement where we played "war" and hid behind stacks of boxes or support beams and popped out yelling "bang!bang! you're dead!" as we pointed our fingers at each other.  We made popcorn and sometimes Mom baked cookies or brownies.  When I was a bit older I remember going outside to slide down the hill at the back of our property on sleds or saucers until the neighbor behind us yelled at us to get off her property (which was hotly disputed by my mother!).  We then moved to the road because in the late '60's and early '70's there weren't too many cars around during the day since most families had only one car and the dads used them to get to work.  When we heard a plow or a car coming we'd stand on the side of the road until they passed and then resume our play.  I recall one time sliding into the storm drain where I managed to cling the edge in danger of falling all the way in, screaming and crying, until my father came outside (I'm sure one of my brothers went inside and got him) and rescued me minus a boot.  He took me inside and returned to the cold stormy outdoors to fish my boot out of the storm drain.  Not a dull moment with four kids running around!  After our sledding and snowman making adventures were over Mom made us all hot chocolate and let us get bowls of pure white fluffy snow which we were allowed to decorate with food dyes and sugar then ate quickly before it could melt.  Such good times I remember on snowy days!

Now I don't enjoy snowy days as much.  I worry about my loved ones driving to and from work on the dangerous roads, and dread the back ache inducing work of clearing the slick stuff away while wishing for spring to arrive early.  Once everyone is home safe and sound, however, it is an enchanting sight out the window to see the mantle of white covering the landscape; and the little child in me smiles.

Kindred Spirits

This is a picture of the lake in my town. I can see it from my kitchen window when the trees are bare. I wrote the poem and posted it as my Facebook status. My friend Jen is quite a good photographer and lives within a short walk of the lake where she uses her camera to document its many moods. She read my poem and asked if I minded her putting it with one of her winter lake shots. I readily agreed; I very much admire her ability to capture the ever changing look of the lake and sky so I was honored that she wanted to add my words to one of her photographs.

I first met Jen when we joined the church over twenty two years ago.  She was a Sunday School teacher and one of the first people to welcome us into the church family. My girls were very young, her children were grown and as the years went by we lost touch as our lives went in different directions.  occasionally we'd greet each other in passing around town. A few years ago she called to ask permission to post pictures she took of my husband in a parade with his bagpipe band. We chatted for a while and then became Facebook friends. I think we share a mutual admiration of each other, a general optimistic outlook on life and a love of words.

We meet people throughout our lives; some we never see again, and some we connect with from time to time; flowing in and out of each others lives. I believe when kindred spirits meet they can reconnect at any time with no awkward feeling.  It's nice how that happens.