February 14

I spent 90 minutes face to face with a tall, dark, and handsome young man Valentine’s afternoon.  He began by telling me just what he was going to do, and gently laid me back.  Asking if I would like a pillow behind my neck, he applied some gel and before I knew it my lips were numb.  He stopped every now and then to ask if I were ok, and to say that there was no need to hurry and to let him know if I needed a break.  There was a talk show on the television, but I could not tell you what it was about, all I could think of was what he was doing to me.  The time seemed endless, but everything must come to an end.    When our time was over we set a date for our next session, in three weeks.  That’s when my permanent dental crowns will be in.

            Gotcha!  Yes, that’s right; I went to the dentist after work on Valentine’s Day.  It was a full day, beginning with a couple inches of snow.  I would have found it beautiful if I hadn’t been shoveling a path through it for Hillary’s wheelchair so I could get her to the bus by 6:45, and cleaning off my van so I could drive it to work by 7:30.  Work was ok, but of course with 10 women working together in a kitchen with a time deadline it was chaotic and cacophonous—I’ve come to refer to going to work as riding the “Crazy Train”, it’s been a wild ride this school year.  Between the laughter and nearly brought to tears all in the space of 5 hours, I was glad to leave.  Once home, I chatted with my adult daughter about her classes, had a sandwich and cup of tea, finished shoveling the driveway at the end where the sun doesn’t reach, got Hillary into the house from the bus and unpacked and went to my dental appointment.  Once back home, my hubby and I exchanged Valentine’s, ordered out for dinner from our favorite Italian restaurant, and got Hillary settled into bed before he left for choir.  We plan to have tea and some of the brownies that my daughter baked for us between when I left for the dentist and Bruce got home.

            I feel lots of love around me always, but it’s nice to have a day set aside to show it, whether you’re part of a couple, or simply part of a family.  I hope you’ve felt loved today, and every day.  Happy Valentine’s Day!

Great Consequence

You will do things of great consequence.

Those words, as far as I can remember, were never spoken to me.  For some reason today they popped into my head.  Hillary has been fighting off an upper respiratory infection, so I've had to keep her home from school and take a few days off myself.  I'm not glad she's sick, what mother would be glad their child is sick?  But I'm enjoying the days at home with the freedom to do pretty much what I want in between caring for her.  It gives my mind time to wander a bit more without being pulled back to the here and now as quickly.  As I meander down the paths of my thoughts I come upon things that I have done that seem fairly inconsequential to the world.  Yet, I don't believe they are.  Mostly what I do as I traverse the Land of Sue is nothing worthy of note.  At work, I sing any scrap of song that pops into my head, and make witty (at least to me) observations about what's going on at any given moment. I try to be kind to my coworkers and the students we serve because perhaps the only bright spot of their day is lunch, and lunch should not be a stressful event. I end most days on Facebook with a silly rhyme to amuse myself.  Doesn't seem like much to me,  just trying to get through the day the best way that I can.  I advocate for my Princess Hillary so that her way through the world will be smoother, and try to be a source of support and refuge to Miss Anna and Bruce.  Something they can count on when they come home is the offer of a snack or meal, a comfy place to sit and relax and some quiet--a refuge from the world after a day at work.  Nothing of great importance.  But really, isn't it?  What if my silliness at work makes a co-worker's day less stressful, allowing her to then deal easier with family issues?  What if one of those students to whom I have shown the smallest kindness of wishing them a pleasant day feels just a little better about themselves?  Suppose Hillary causes someone to think of something about life they never would have without seeing how someone with no speech, or walking skills can be included in life in a meaningful way? What if my nonsensical rhyme changes some one's mood? What if the knowledge that they have a safe place to land at the end of the day allows my daughter and husband to do their jobs just a little better, and show kindness to coworkers and customers?  We don't know what the ripple effects of our everyday lives might be.

 So I say, to everyone, you will do things of great consequence.

Getting Along With My Smart-alecky Phone

          Well, I’ve had my smart-aleck phone for 7 months now, and I think we’ve come to terms with each other.  Sort of.  I’d describe it most like a teenager.  The trick is to get it to do what you want it to do without it knowing it was your idea.  Those of you who have or work with teenagers understand what I mean.  One wrong move and you’re sitting there wondering where you went wrong.  Don’t try to retrace your steps because you’ll never figure it out.  One time my friend sent me an e-mail with an attachment.  My phone simply refused to show it to me.  It said that it was opened, but I couldn’t see it.  I had to turn on my computer to see the image that she sent me.  Darn phone! Sometimes I stab at the screen and it takes 6 times before I open the app I want.  Sometimes I barely touch it when I’m picking it up and an app I never use pops up on the screen.  I’ve never put any music on it (I know, that’s one of the features that many people enjoy the most) since I prefer the radio and don’t like ear buds, yet every now and then when I pick it up a message appears that says “there is no music on this device”.  No kidding.  I do enjoy the camera feature, but it took me quite a while to figure it out, or make peace with it.  Sometimes I’d be taking a video instead of a still picture.  For the longest time I couldn’t figure out how to zoom, and couldn’t get the right setting for the flash thus giving me many very dark pictures juxtaposed with many ghostly looking images of my loved ones.  I almost have that figured out.  Although it seems like just when I think I’ve figured it out I realize that I don’t.  At least I’ve learned how to text, make calls, and retrieve voicemails.  God help me if I ever decide to put music on it!  Some things I just shouldn’t attempt.

Changing the World

“A teacher effects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops” –Henry Adams

“I will let the facts speak for themselves” Demosthenes

 

These two quotes feel relevant to me just now.  There have been some things going on in my daughter’s school days that I found it necessary to address.  I tend to be pretty easy going about things, trying to see all sides and hanging back, letting Hillary meet the world on her own terms and the staff who work with her handle challenges that come up with the rest of the school.  I frequently think that she is here to teach more than she is to be taught, but we must work within the public school system and they (administrators & law makers) don’t get that poetic idea.  So when Hillary is mainstreamed into a general education class, I take a back seat and let things work themselves out, and for the most part it’s been good all these years.  This year, for the first time ever, I had to step in and protest.  I’ve protested things before, but never a situation like this.  The chorus teacher kept asking her aide to take her out of the class because she was making noise while they were singing.  She was participating to the best of her ability and enjoying the music and being with her peers.  I had no choice, I had to step in with an e-mail to her teachers and administrators of the school.  Multiple recipients brings the fastest action.  There was a prompt response and I think things are getting better.  I think I am most disappointed that this teacher, instead of using the situation to model acceptance to the rest of the students, chose to model intolerance for those who are different.  How unforgivable.  I believe that Hillary’s peers are the future teachers, doctors, lawyers, nurses, and policy makers, as well as caregivers and members of society.  If what they see as acceptable is intolerance and disrespect for differences there is not much chance things will change for the better.  Any one of us could suffer an accident or health emergency which leaves us with disabilities.  We need to know that those who will be caring for us and our loved ones have respect for and tolerance of our different abilities and disabilities.  Certainly I cannot force this man to embrace the chance to work with someone like my daughter, but he must obey the law which says she has a legal right to be there, and he must show her respect and sensitivity for her feelings as a fellow human being at the very least.  I may not be able to change the whole world, but I hope that I can help positive change happen in the future.

Ha! New Year!

After a very nice but busy holiday season I started the New Year 2013 at a run.  Work, doctor appointments, and packing away Christmas all take up the scant time each day contains.  Add in a cold for my husband and I both, then throw in a problem with one of Hillary’s teachers, a tragedy in our town, and a major health problem for my supervisor, and it doesn’t feel as if much has changed with the new calendar.  There are always going to be “things to deal with” because that’s how life is.  Something is always happening to keep you off balance, keep you thinking, growing, solving problems.  At the end of last October we went to a birthday party for a friend.  As we were saying our good-byes at the end, the birthday party honoree thanked us for coming adding, “I really appreciate it, I know you have troubles.”  I know he meant it kindly, but it got me to thinking.  Is that how people see us, as having troubles because we have Hillary?  I just look at it as having a life to live.  Who among us doesn’t have something that could be seen as “troubles” by someone not experiencing the same thing?  I don’t know, it just struck me as something worth mentioning.  I guess it’s all in the attitude you have toward life in general whether you  have trouble in your life, or a life that challenges you.  My life is full, and my life challenges me—it is that which keeps me growing and moving forward, and I expect I will grow much and go far in this new year.  I hope you also meet your challenges with the expectation of growing and moving forward in 2013.