What Have I Done?

         I would love to turn on my computer every day and write, or just look around the internet, maybe do some research.  I promised myself in January that this year I was going to do just that, every day for at least 30 minutes. Ha!  Promise to self--broken!  Realistically the time I would be able to do that would be about 8:00 pm.  That’s the time by which all of the other tasks that need my attention most are finished. It’s my official “quitting time” from my job as mowifrienhomemaker. (That’s mother, wife, friend, and homemaker)  I find, however that by that point in the day the last thing I want to do is turn on the computer.  Even though it is something I will enjoy, my energy is just gone.  I look around and say to me, “what have you done all day that you should be so tired?  It looks as if you’ve done nothing!”  Oh how unkind I am to me sometimes!  There may be dust, the floors may not be swept or vacuumed, there may still be clothes in the baskets, dryer and hampers, but you know I have not been idle.  I’ve made sure everyone has clean clothes.  I’ve given my princess her medicine and changed her several times, as well as spoon feeding her each of her meals.  I’ve prepared and cleaned up meals, grocery shopped, made sure all supplies are at hand for whatever is needed.  I’ve made phone calls, chatted online (on the iPhone), gotten the mail, paid bills, and a host of other small tasks that need to be done in the course of a normal day.  If it’s a work day for me, I’ve gone there and run around for my allotted time.  It just feels as if I’ve accomplished nothing because most of what I do cannot be measured or seen by a casual glance.  It is, rather, an accumulation of my family’s good health (especially Princess Hillary) and happiness by which one can tell that I don’t sit idle.  So tonight I say “kudos to Sue!” for a job well done, and for putting aside the fatigue and turning on the computer!  I will try from here on to do that at least 3 times a week, and to be kinder to myself.  We all should treat ourselves with kindness, give yourself a break—it feels great!