There are some days we remember for no apparent reason. It could be a random encounter with someone where nothing very important happened but it sticks in our mind for some reason, such as the day I was standing in the ketchup aisle at the supermarket and a man I didn’t know engaged me in a conversation about meatloaf recipes and a dinner party he was hosting. It has no significance to me yet I remember it anyway. There is the day my daughter and I were shopping at a department store and I was mistaken for someone named Dot. There we were, looking at the costume jewelry display when a random woman said to me, “I thought you were my friend Dot, but she uses a cane and you don’t so you’re not her.” Then she walked away. We still laugh about that. Then there are days that had some significance at some point in our lives that we still remember long after they mean something to us. Like June 3rd, my childhood friend Joan’s birthday.
Joan and I met in the first grade and to be honest, I was a little afraid of her. She was a tomboy, loud, direct, and bold. She’d just ask you a question if she wanted to know something about you and you answered if for no other reason than you wanted her to move on to someone else. I was more timid, less sure of myself and I felt intimidated yet I liked her. She lived within walking distance, maybe 1/2 mile away if you cut through the school fields. We lived in an old cottage type house and she lived in a split level ranch in “the development” as we referred to those houses. That whole neighborhood and the elementary school used to be farmland. When I was very young my 2 older brothers and I used to walk across the street and watch the cows in the fields. I don’t actually remember that but was told by my mother. I was perhaps 4 when the school was built, and the houses as well I imagine. Joan and I remained good friends through graduation from high school. We played together in elementary school, and in our tween years in middle school, when I was being bullied, she was supportive and protective of me to the point of fighting in my place when bullies ganged up on me, telling me to go home with 2 of our other friend group while she took care of things. For my 14th birthday she somehow talked my parents into letting her give me a puppy, which was my heart’s desire. In high school we remained friends and added some new friends to our circle, one of whom, Cathy, I am still close to today even though physical distance separates us. Hanging out at Joan’s house listening to music and talking about life and goofing around took the place of sleepovers and late night tv movies once we were in our mid to late teens. Boyfriends and proms were all experiences we shared, culminating in graduation. Somehow after graduation we lost touch, and briefly communicated when email first became a thing nearly everyone did. We even had a reunion of our little trio, Joan and Cathy and me for an afternoon at my house. That was about 35 years ago, and we haven’t been in touch with Joan since. People do come and go throughout our lives, it’s just how it is. No animosity, fond memories, but we grow apart, our lives take different paths.
I don’t know why I always remember Joan’s birthday but I do. Every year I wish her a happy birthday. So, Happy Birthday Joan! Wherever you are.
