Braving the Rain

 “It’s raining, I don’t want to go, “ I told my husband. He replied, somewhat absently, “I don’t blame you,” as he scrolled through something on his phone. I took another sip of my coffee and stared out the window at the pouring rain and reflected on how often I don’t want to go places lately, and especially in the rain. I go anyway as these are things I want to do, have agreed to do with friends and relatives, and I know I will be glad to be doing whatever it is which generally involves food or at least coffee. Between the coffee and reminding myself that I would enjoy myself I found the motivation to get myself ready and go on my way.

As I drove through the rain to the mall, which was the day’s destination, I reflected how my whole life I have gone out in the rain and survived, it was not detrimental in any way to my health and wellbeing.  When I was a young child I walked to and from school and friends’ houses in the rain. All I needed was a raincoat, umbrella and perhaps galoshes or rubber shoe covers; although in my teen years sneakers were enough because one must be “cool” in the teen years. As a young child my brothers and I donned our bathing suits and ran around outside splashing in puddles on rainy summer days. In high school I was in the marching band and we marched in parades and attended football games in the rain getting soaked, but we had a lot of fun and didn’t really care that it was raining. In college I trudged across campus in the rain to attend classes and visit friends in other dorms. All my adult life I drove to work, doctor appointments, and to see family and friends in the rain, although I came to dislike going out in the rain; but it didn’t stop me and I did it without a second thought donning raincoat and umbrella for protection. Now that I’m retired I avoid going out in the rain, I find it unpleasant. I used to enjoy the sound the rain made hitting the umbrella, I used to go out for a walk in the rain. I guess as we age we change a bit and no longer enjoy some of the things we used to. Such is life.

I had a nice time at the mall, we walked and talked a little and had a leisurely lunch. My companion forgave me for my rotten mood and by the time we parted ways I was feeling much better. It was misty as I drove home, but I’m glad I braved the weather that I have survived my whole life to enjoy some time with someone I love.

Hot Summer Nights

 Recently we spent an evening with friends on their boat, motoring around the lake, dining at a lakeside restaurant and ending the evening eating cookies and brownies while watching fireworks and talking.  We were with the same group on Memorial Day weekend at another couple’s house talking and laughing over good food on their deck and later around the kitchen table sharing treats and stories. It got me to remembering the hot summer nights of my younger adult/late teenage years spending time with a group of friends talking and laughing, especially ones in my early twenties when I was working the graveyard shift at a 24 hour donut shop chain.

It was the early 1980’s, a time when there weren’t many places open all night in our rural area, and convenience stores were few and far between. Summer nights were especially lively. There were plenty of bars and they closed around 2:00 a.m. which is when my donut shop got a rush of drunken, mostly happy customers looking to sober up a bit over coffee and donuts. There were some locals who walked down to the shop after the local go-go bar closed, I believe they were also high. One night they ordered some chicken noodle soup and giggled as they poured some noodles on each other’s hands. They were always entertaining and kept to themselves. They didn’t make too much of a mess so we didn’t pay too much attention to them—they were harmless. There were times, though when a more rowdy crowd rolled in and we had to keep an eye on them in case we needed to call the police to handle them, at which time it seemed like every police car from our town, neighboring towns and the state police showed up. There was one hot summer night, I think it was a Saturday night that we were especially busy once the area bars closed. The counter seats were all taken, and a couple groups were hanging out in the parking lot goofing around, laughing, and eating donuts. It was noisy inside and hot because of course the air conditioning couldn’t keep up with the sticky humid air. A small group of guys and girls came in, one of the girls ordered a hot tea and went on to the ladies room while the rest of her group waited for their orders to be filled. Upon exiting the ladies room the girl grabbed her paper cup of tea from the counter, took the lid off, dumped the scalding hot brew down the back of another girl in the group and walked out. Mayhem ensued with screaming and yelling, people rushing outside to the parking lot, and fists flying. My coworker rushed to the phone and called the local police, (this was before 911 was in place), and within minutes the parking lot held at least 8 police cars from our town, the state police, and neighboring towns. It was pretty wild. I don’t remember how many if anyone was arrested, but the crowd dispersed and the quiet of the wee hours on a summer Saturday night settled in. I will probably never forget that night, it was so crazy.

Gathering with friends on a hot summer night is probably one of life’s greatest pleasures, sharing memories and making new ones. I’m fortunate to have many such nights to remember when I’m feeling nostalgic.

The Orphan Tree

 Several years ago my sister-in-law, who is a master gardener, gave my husband a cutting from a lemon tree that she grows in a pot. She lives in the northeast and puts the tree outside in the summer and takes it into her living room for the colder months. She has grown several from cuttings and all produce a few lemons throughout the year. My husband does fairly well growing plants, houseplants as well as vegetables outside in containers on our deck in the summer. The little lemon tree he got from the master gardener has not lived up to his expectations. Let me just say that he is a kind, gentle, musical, soft spoken man, and mostly patient. His patience with the little lemon tree, however grew thin. In spite of following the advice of his sister, the tree did not flower, ever. It became infested with mites, the leaves turned yellow and fell off at an alarming rate, yet it continued to get taller. It lived, but didn’t flourish. After several years, and being de-mited, the leaves looked better, but still there were no signs of flowers and therefore no producing fruit. It was moved a few times in different parts of the living room but nothing helped, not even being in the bay window which faces west and so gets plenty of sun. So, after all those years he went to a local nursery and bought a lemon tree that was flowering and showed signs of producing fruit. It is smaller than the one in the window, but was given the place of honor and the disappointing one was put aside. Poor little tree, abandoned for a showier model.

I took to caring for the cast aside tree, and I call it the orphan tree. It sits on a small accent table in front of the window where once it had the place of honor. Next to this tree is where Hillary sat to watch tv. I put little fairy lights on it at Christmas, and she liked to look at it. The tree is still growing, and its leaves don’t fall off. It still shows no signs of flowering or producing fruit, but I like it and have no expectations of it except for it to decorate my living room. I put a ribbon bow from one of Hillary’s funeral arrangements on it, I think she would like that. She always loved seeing trees and watching the leaves flutter in the breeze when we were outside. I will still put lights on the orphan tree at Christmas, and take care of it. As for the new tree? So far it produced 3 lemons, 2 of which I used in shrimp scampi. They were very tasty.

This is the orphan tree.

                                  The tree in this picture was outside a hotel we stayed at in Tennessee.

Beautiful

 In trying to cope with our deep grief, we have been doing some traveling. We took a short road trip to Lancaster, Pennsylvania first. It was a quiet trip as it was in February and the off season. Not everything was open, and there weren’t very many other tourists there. We saw many sights as we drove through Amish and Mennonite areas. Signs of a simpler way of life were there in everything from sharing the roads with horse and buggy, laundry gently swaying in lines in the breeze, to fields being plowed in the distance by horse drawn plows. There were also some beautiful sunsets, which I found soothing for my hurting heart.

Our next trip in March was to drive 1,500+ miles from New Jersey to Texas, with overnight stops in Virginia, Tennessee, and Arkansas then 8 days in Texas staying with family. We saw, along the way, the Smokey Mountains, Blue Ridge Mountains, the Mississippi River, the Cumberland Mountains, and signs of spring. We saw different varieties of trees and flowers beginning to bloom, and by the time we got to Texas most of the trees were full of leaves, quite different than the not even budding yet trees we left behind at home. I don’t think we will do such a long road trip again, as we are no longer young and 6 hours in a car 4 days in a row was rather exhausting, but we are glad we did it. If you ever get the chance to take a long road trip, I recommend doing so at least once. We saw many beautiful sights and did some interesting sight seeing while in Texas. Among other places we visited while there, such as the Ft. Worth Stockyards and the Bureau of Engraving (where paper money is printed), my favorite by far was the GW Bush Presidential Center on the campus of Southern Methodist University in Dallas. It was interesting and well put together, and whatever your politics are it is well worth checking out. One of my favorite parts was a short video the president’s daughters made about their father. They focused on his humor and it gave a good sense of what kind of person he is. It is also in a beautiful setting as the SMU campus is lovely. We also had a chance to see family we don’t see because we all live so far away, which was very nice, and comforting to our grieving souls.

Our third, and final (for a little while) road trip was to the Adirondacks in NY to visit more family and view the eclipse. There we went back a half a season as they still had quite a bit of snow on the ground when we arrived. It’s a beautiful sight to see snow covered mountains in the distance as we did driving through the Catskills on the way. While we were there the weather warmed, spring arrived and snow melted. The day of the eclipse was sunny and warm enough that we were outside on the deck all afternoon to see the spectacular sight of the moon briefly covering the sun. We had our eclipse viewing glasses and snacks. We enjoyed very much our time staying with more family, again finding solace with loved ones in a beautiful setting.

Even though I have seen many beautiful sights, I think the most beautiful thing to see is family and friends, taking care of each other. How could anything possibly be more beautiful and breathtaking than that? Love wins and it’s a beautiful thing.

Beautiful In A Terrible Way

 This year, 2024 has gotten off to a very rough start.  Our precious princess passed away on January 7th after being admitted to the hospital ICU with RSV, pneumonia, and sepsis. It is the most awful time of our lives, saying goodbye and learning to live without her.  It is a strange and empty feeling to be without someone who has been at the center of your life every day for just over 3 decades.  She was patient, and gentle while also being stubborn. She was a beautiful soul who we don't know how we will go on without in our daily lives.  That last night, as snow fell outside the hospital room, we gathered around her lying in the hospital bed as she fought for her life.  The next afternoon, as snowflakes lightly drifted down, we gathered around her as she took her final breaths in this life,  It was beautiful in the most terrible way.